Christmas wish lists

Only two months until Christmas!

MOMMY

• Digital camera
• Victorinix Swiss card (This is SOOOO useful! I lost mine in August and have been sorely missing it. I especially use the scissors, knife [what they call a letter-opener], and toothpick. The stainless steel pin is a new addition; my last ones didn’t have it.)
• Mamma Mia! on DVD

MUSTANG

• Magic Puppy (#3 and up) and Magic Kitten (#1 and up) books by Sue Bentley
• My Little Ponies
• anything to do with horses!!
• riding trousers (breeches) & riding crop (whip)
• downhill skis, boots, bindings
• bicycle basket

BUTTON

• Books: Froggy series, Clifford series, Franklin series
• downhill skis, boots, bindings
• new skates (his old ones – inherited from sister – are likely too small by now)
• Lego, Connex, or other building toys
• puzzles
• bicycle basket
  

Photos galore

No, this post isn’t full of photos. But over our summer holidays, I filled up about 25 or 30 rolls of film. Took multiple shots of many things, hoping for a few good ones. Kids got hold of the camera once or twice, and took kid-pix. (Mustang actually got a few good pix – she shot the ones of bear on garbage bins!)

It cost me close to $350 getting them developed (and put on CD). Not to mention the cost of purchasing the film to begin with. Right now I’ve got two films, from mid-August to mid-Oct, waiting to get developed. Wanted to wait to have two films, so I’d only have to pay for one CD instead of two!

I think I need a digital camera.

Then you’d get more timely pictures attached to this blog, too.

Ups and Downs

We’ve been having a fair number of these recently. I put it down to my return to work a month ago, after the end of my 37-week parental leave.

Button had grown accustomed to having Mommy at home. Even when Mustang and he went off to school – initially – Mommy would pick him up from the school-bus and they would have the day together, with Mustang joining us when she got home in the afternoon. But after only two weeks of that – and with very little warning, suddenly Mommy isn’t there any more when he gets home. She’s still not there when Mustang gets home. She only gets home right at supper time, and then after supper it’s homework and chores and hardly any time for play before stories and bed.

I did try to prepare him by talking about what was going to happen, but it’s hard to do that when you’re not 100% sure what’s going to happen. In the sense that we were waiting for a Nanny to arrive from Hong Kong (Filipina), but didn’t know whether she’d arrive before I went back to work or a few weeks or months later. I’d arranged for the two kids to go to the after-school daycare in case she didn’t come before I went to work, but it ended up that she did here in time. But I had hardly any warning.

One Monday it was “her visa has been granted, she may arrive as soon as Sunday” and on Saturday it was “oh, yeah, she’s arriving late tomorrow and I (the agency person) will bring her to your place on Monday.” And then on the following Thursday, effectively a mere two days after Nanny arrived, I went back to work.

In addition, Laolao and Laoye arrived on the Wednesday of that week for a four-day stay, then flew to Europe on the Sunday after Nanny arrived. So we had an awful lot of changes and people in-and-out over that week.

So no wonder Button has been out of sorts. His world has changed – again – and though Mommy is still here, and around, and constant, she’s not there all the time the way he was used to. He wants me to stay home. I’d like to stay home. But there are these things called mortgages, and groceries, and taxes, and cars, and toys, and clothes, and lessons, and Halloween costumes, that all need something called money so we can have them. Drat it all anyhow. (Though, as I said to Mustang a day or two ago: If we didn’t have to work for things we probably wouldn’t value them as much…)

It’s been hard on me because I find Button’s way of expressing frustration/ anger/ whatever to be very frustrating to deal with, infuriating even. He goes off in a sulk. If I try to comfort him he pulls away. Anything I try to do to reach out to him is useless. He either screams bloody blue murder and throws things around, or turns into an unresponsive little lump. Or both in succession. About the only thing that works is distraction: Mustang and I get out stuffies and start to play around with them, or I haul out an interesting book and start reading.

I have begun really working on him to get him to (1) control his emotions and (2) communicate instead of just shutting down. Most any problem can be worked out if we can talk it through. It doesn’t have to be a major confrontation. (I’ve even told him that when he’s a teenager and grown-up, when he’s got a girlfriend or wife, he’s going to have to communicate with her! If he just keeps on shutting down and shutting people out, he’s going to have problems…)

Last week we had about six or seven sulky tantrums in as many days. It was exhausting. This week has been noticeably better. We’ve managed three days without a major blow-up, or really even a minor one. Either we’re all adjusting, or the few slight changes I’ve made have helped. (Or both.) What changes? I see the kids off to the bus in the morning, instead of leaving it to Nanny, and I’ve been phoning home most afternoons to chat a little bit with Button.

Then there’s Mustang. She’s actually been pretty steady, though she’s been having some grumps, too. Perhaps just because she’s been affected by Button’s grumps. Perhaps in part because she had to change classrooms at school at the beginning of October (more students than anticipated so they formed a new class with new teacher) and she misses the teacher she started out the year with. Perhaps the darkening days are a source of some disgruntlement (that could go for all of us).

I expect things will ease up a little bit again when Laolao and Laoye return next Tuesday. They’ll be here through Christmas – I hope we don’t have any major regression when they leave in January…

Anyhow, we had fun last night making some Halloween decorations, which the kids have been wanting to do. Nothing fancy, just some garbage-bag and tissue-paper ghosts, and a couple of yogurt-container witches. It was fun, though, and a creative outlet for all.

Much to be thankful for

Thanksgiving has passed and I have, indeed, much to be thankful for.

This was Button's first Thanksgiving and, while it's not a major major celebration in our family, I do like to keep up some traditions. We had friends over for a more-or-less traditional dinner on Sunday (chicken rather than turkey), and visited other friends for an outdoor soup lunch on Monday. The weather was fine (over 20 above both days!) - could hardly ask for better on a mid-October weekend. We went for a walk with friends and dogs after Sunday dinner, and at the Monday lunch, the kids enjoyed raking up leaves into a huge pile and jumping wildly in, then burying each other in leaves. The joys of childhood!

What, in particular, am I thankful for?

• two beautiful, creative, active, smart kids who get along really well (most of the time!)
• reading, and that Mustang is getting better at it (she read almost three chapters of a chapter book entirely without assistance and on her own initative over the weekend!)
• a good neighbourhood in a beautiful city
• the wildlife that lives nearby and sometimes even graces our yard with their presence (squirrels, chipmunks, ducks, rabbits, all kinds of songbirds, even the crows!)
• good friends - from church, and from the neighbourhood
• my parents and that they remain healthy, active, and love to stay with us and do things with Mustang and Button
• the ability to sew and be creative/ crafty
• health that enables me to be pretty active with my kids
• a good job that allows us to have everything we need and almost everything we might want, as well as to share with those less fortunate
• our Nanny, who looks after the household and frees me from those responsiblities, giving me more time (and energy) to devote to the kids

The kids are looking forwards to Hallowe'en and after that it's on the road to Christmas... Mustang is already keen for snow and lights!

Holidays: A kid's-eye view

Before we left, I gave each of the kids a single-use camera for them to use. When the first one filled up, I got them each another.

This was done in part to give them an alternative to using my camera, which Button especially likes to do, as I don't particularly care to spend tons of money developing film with 22 out of 25 shots being of "nothing in particular"!

A good part of the time they would forget aobut them, but then - especially when there were animals to be photographed - Mustang would haul hers out, so of course Button would follow suit, and they'd go trigger-happy.

Of the supposedly 108 possible pictures (27 x 4) these ones are among the best (i.e. the ones where you can actually see something recognizable). (I'm actualy not thrilled with the quality of these cameras: a lot of the shots didn't turn out at all. But that might in part be because they kept forgetting that to use the flash you had to hold down an extra button... And in part because fingers kept getting in the way...)

Our rental van:


Mommy and all the stuffies...so far (we left home with 6; we returned home with about 16...)
Mommy and the van:
Button takes a picture of Mustang taking a picture!
Horses in Stanley Park:

Stanley Park totem poles:
Critters at the Vancouver Aquarium:


Aquarium roof? At the Calgary Zoo:

Holidays 2008: Parts 15-20

The following six posts give the final installments of our 2008 summer holidays. (You're thinking: "Whew! When will this end?!?") As I had the summer off, we were gone for a full seven weeks. It was good to get home at the end of that, and have a few weeks to settle in before school started again.

The southern Alberta chapter of our holidays included a lot of relatives and a bit of sightseeing. If you're not interested in relatives I guess you can skip those posts!

Edmonton at last!

Laolao and Laoye have a small backyard but it's still got room to enjoy. Mustang remembered the tent from last year, so we had to haul it out and set it up, along with a little picnic table rescued from the Thrift Store. Great play space for kids!


The school I went to as a child (Grades 2-6) is just half a block away and has a nice, huge, modern playground (was a lot more basic when I was a kid!) We visited the playground nearly every day.


Laoye had also done a couple of "road-side purchases" of kid's bikes, so there was one for each of them to enjoy. Since it's a quiet street and alley, they were able to zoom up and down on their own when they wanted to.
We made a visit to the Edmonton Valley Zoo. It's not a huge zoo, with a number of small "petting" animals, like this very large family of guinea pigs:

But they do have some larger animals too:

And offer pony rides (three times around a small circle) to kids:

Adoptive family friends

Our trip out west was also a chance to meet up with a few other adoptive families. First we had a picnic in the park with Lin and her two Chinese girls, Carol and Rae. I first met Lin almost three years ago, when Mustang and I visited Edmonton for the first time. At that time Carol was just 2 1/2 and a lively youngster. Since then, in January 2007, Lin took Carol back to China to adopt her little sister Rae. That fall, Carol fell ill with some strange and debilitating symptoms that the doctor's just couldn't figure out. With much persistance on Lin's part and consultations with a wide range of specialists (including in the US), she was finally diagnosed with neurological Lyme disease and some co-infections. Now that she is being treated she is starting to recuperate, and there is hope for a full recovery, but she is still anxious and less verbal than normal for a five-year-old.

(Mustang was happy to be meeting some Chinese girls for a change. "They're all Ethiopian kids!" she'd been complaining to me...)

Rae, Lin and Carol:

The four kids enjoying playtime in the wading pool:
Button and Mustang, all wet:

And, yes, we did visit some Ethiopian adoptive families, too. Two of Button's closest friends at the Transition House had ended up in Edmonton. One, Kenean, was the oldest of sibling group of three, who had just come home about three months earlier. With a three- or four-month lead over them, Button's English was notably better - but that had no impact on their ability to play together! They definitely remembered Button and I think he remembered them, too. We had a blast and I sure hope we can visit again.

Kenean, Shay, Kai and Button: Tracey with her three and my two:
The kids enjoying some water play:
Mustang, button and Kenean all dolled up: My angel Button (or is that a princess?) and Kenean goofing off:
Button and Kai:
Shay:
Little Kai:

Edmonton relatives

Two of Laolao's brothers live in Edmonton and they make a point of getting together a couple of times a month (when Laolao and Laoye are actually in Edmonton!). While we were there they came to our place once, we went to UnkaRock's place once, and once we met up at the restaurant where my cousin works.

UnkaKing: UnkaRock:
UnkaRock's wife, AuntieKay:
Their daughter, Angel (adopted from China 13 years ago at the age of 3):
Angel and Mustang, the two Chinese cousins (once-removed):
The only one of Laoye's side of the family who lives nearby is my Cousin Chief and his wife Chef and kids. Chief was always my favourite cousin when I was growing up. We'd visit his family on the farm in southern Alberta and he'd always have time for me (he's 10 years older than me). When he attended University in Edmonton and then married and settled down nearby, we stayed close. They visited me once when I lived in Winnipeg, but have yet to make it out east (hint, hint).

They live on an acreage just east of town. We met up with their oldest daughter, Ell, who is on her own in an apartment in Edmonton. Son Rusty was travelling in Europe at the time with his little sister Kay, so we missed seeing them.

Chief & Chef's house in the country:
Chief, Mustang, Button & Chef: