20 hours with ButtonBoy

This past weekend, the kids cashed in their birthday present coupons from friend Giggles: a sleepover for Mustang, and an afternoon at the movies for ButtonBoy.

So there I was, back down to one kid at a time for a whole 20 hours!

It was a calm and quiet evening, just me and ButtonBoy, while Mustang enjoyed her sleepover. We watched a movie - with a bit of puppy-snuggling beforehand. We read some stories, then went to bed and fell asleep in short order. The next morning also passed in relative tranquility, with an orderly visit to the grocery store and library. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

Well, except that it was calm and quiet and orderly.

The usual grocery store trip with both kids goes like this:
They take one cart, I take another. At the beginning of the rounds, I tell them they can each pick one treat and it has to be a healthy treat – no candy or junk food. I then send them off to fetch 3 jugs of Mustang’s milk and 1 bag of ButtonBoy’s. They come back with 1 jug of Mustang’s milk, 1 bag of Buttonboy’s, and 3 kinds of chips they love and absolutely must have and after all, Mommy, they’re off price and we need chips, don’t we?

I send the chips back (unless I want them and they’re on the list), then send the kids off to get the two missing cartons of Mustang’s milk and also some eggs and butter. They come back with a dozen eggs, margarine, and 4 cartons of juice that they absolutely must have because they want juice in their lunches and juice is good for you and this is off price, too, Mommy, and can’t we have some please?

I likely accept the juice because by now I’ve trained them in which varieties I will accept, and then send them off to replace the margarine with butter, find a bag of sugar, and don’t forget the two missing cartons of Mustang’s milk! They come back with butter and four boxes of cookies that are the best kind in the world and so yummy and Mommy we don’t have any cookies at home and please Mommy just this one thing?!

I tell Mustang we can keep one of the boxes of cookies as it’s relatively healthy and that will be her treat, right? She looks at the boxes, changes her mind – not quite the treat she was thinking of – and takes the cookies back, along with instructions not to forget the sugar and Mustang’s milk!!!

They come back with sugar, three boxes of crackers that are off price, and a ring of shrimp which is the best thing in the world Mommy and we can have it for movie tonight and we all love shrimp don’t we?

I tell Mustang we can keep the shrimp as her treat (and because it’s the small ring that’s not too expensive and yes, we do all like shrimp and it’s healthy) and she figures that’s an okay treat so we keep it. I tell her to return the crackers as we have lots of crackers at home, but she says nope, we’re keeping them and pops them into the cart. By then I’m at the milk counter so I pick up Mustang’s missing milk myself, and send the kids off to fetch a cucumber that I forgot back in the veggie section. While they’re fetching, I return the crackers to the shelf. Kids come back with a cucumber, a quarter watermelon, and a package of cow cheese because it’s very yummy, and watermelon is healthy, right Mommy and we love watermelon don’t we? I ask Button which he prefers to be his treat – the watermelon or the cow cheese? He rejects both as he wants a more treaty treat, but then he can’t think of what to pick so I suggest the watermelon as it will go well with the shrimp for movie snack. He ends up agreeing as he can’t think of anything else.

Compare that to this grocery store visit with just Button:
He takes one cart, I take another. I send him to pick three of his favourite kinds of fruit. He loads up with apples, oranges, and grapes. I then send him off to find 2 cartons of Mustang’s milk and one bag of his, as well as a dozen eggs. He comes back with 2 cartons of Mustang’s milk, one bag of his, and a dozen eggs. I ask him to go find 2 cartons of zoo juice and he comes back with two cartons of zoo juice. I take him to the fish counter and ask which kind of fish we should get and he suggests one that at first seems a bit expensive, but when I do the calculations to convert the price I’m given (per kg) to price per pound (the way everything else is posted) it’s not that much more than the other fish on offer, so I agree and we get one big fillet (I mean big – almost a kg!). He needs to go pee but the bathroom is out of order so I take him outside and we find some bushes with a bit of privacy and he does his business there (the advantage of being a boy!). The last thing on the list is some tea, so we head to the tea aisle together and as we go he notices that the cookies are on sale and asks if we can have some, but I say we still have lots of home-baked cookies at home, so he accepts that and doesn’t push back. We head to the check-out and are done – he’s never asked if he could pick a treat, and I never mentioned it.

If I had two kids like ButtonBoy, life would be easy.

Not nearly as interesting or exciting...

Mind you, there are days I’d pass on exciting for a little bit more easy.

Back to School - already??!!?

I could easily enjoy another month or two of warm summer weather, sunshine & shorts, no need for jackets, and long summer days. That’s one of the most noticeable things already – the days are growing shorter as fall approaches. It’s getting dark already before 8pm, which is a sure sign that summer is drawing to a close.

So here they are, the young scholars: Mustang entering Grade 5 and Button starting Grade 2.

Grade 5!!?!! How did that happen so fast? It seems just a short while ago I was dropping a little girl off at the school door for her first day of Kindergarten. Some days you think they grow up so fast. (These, of course, are offset by all the days you wish they’d display a lot more grown-up behaviour!)

Another cycle of life – plans for Thanksgiving, Villages season, Christmas and the winter to come and finally the burgeoning of new life once again. All in its due time…


So here it is – the beginning of another school year. I know Mustang would have loved another month – or two or three – of holidays. Button too, though he’s somewhat more academically inclined, is still not a fan of spending days at a desk.

Happy birthday-and-a-quarter, Button!

This post is only three months out of date, as Button celebrated his birthday at the end of May. But we were travelling on a birthday surprise trip at the time, and I hadn’t gotten the post ready in advance. Then once we got back, end-of-school-year busyness took over, and holiday preparations… so there you go.

In the past two years Button has grown (now over 4’2”/125cm tall!), developed, matured (still a ways to go…) and been lots of fun.



The birthday surprise went like this: I walked the kids to school in the morning. I had already written a note for their teacher that someone would pick them up to come home. That someone was me!!! The note to the teachers had specified that we were heading off for a trip to Stratford to see Peter Pan and Kiss Me Kate, so the children would miss two days of school, but that it was a SURPRISE so not to say a word to either of them about it.

When I showed up at 2:30 the kids were both very surprised to see me. Button’s teacher wished them a “good weekend” which they found surprising as it was only the middle of the week, but she covered it up by saying “Well, I won’t be seeing your Mom before the weekend.” Once we got into the car I told them we were heading off on a trip!! We stopped at home just long enough to drop off their backpacks and load some food from the fridge and then we hit the road!!

It’s a long drive, and after a mere 200km I was tired and getting sleepy, as I’d gone to bed late the night before. But a bite of supper, a cup of tea, and an iced cap from Timmy’s revived me and off we set again. We stopped for the night in Toronto and stayed with a family we’d met last November when they spent a few nights with us. The next morning we took off by nine and made the rest of the journey without stopping. Our Stratford accommodation was provided by a family on an acreage outside the town – their property was lovely, complete with pond, forest, lawns, dog, cat and rabbits.

Our friend Chuckles met us there and we traveled together to see Peter Pan that afternoon. The impetus for the trip was that the Festival was offering free tickets to Peter Pan on a child’s birthday – so Button benefitted from that (as did my pocketbook). The production was excellent and we all enjoyed the acting, staging, and story. After the play we headed off to a local pizza joint for a birthday supper, complete with cake and singing.

Friday was a free day – we spent most of the day just enjoying the acreage, but headed into town in the late afternoon to do some shopping, watch the swans and geese (we saw goslings and a mama swan sitting on her next), and have a bite of supper – which mostly consisted of a huge ice cream cone for each of us!

Saturday morning we went to the neighbouring town for the Mennonite Relief Sale. This is a huge event where quilts and other items are auctioned off to help raise funds for relief and development work overseas. There are also numerous food booths, which were the main beneficiary of my funds. I gave the kids their allowances to spend there: Mustang found a nice necklace while Button purchased a lovely small pouch from Nepal. We met Chuckles there and took off after lunch for our second show, Kiss Me Kate. This one was more complex and I’m sure the kids had a bit of trouble following the storyline, but it was still fun.

On Sunday we took of fairly early for the long drive home. Chuckles was with us so she took a spell driving. We stopped twice – once for a stretch and once for lunch – and arrived home a bit before 5pm. It was a good trip all around!

Soccer again!

Button is a keen soccer player. He plays with a group of other boys during most recesses at school (or frequently, if not most). Last fall, and even in mid-winter, when I asked him if he wanted to play soccer again this summer he wasn’t sure, but by mid-March he was keen again. So I signed him up. Of course, by the time I did so most of the spots on teams were taken, so in order to get him on a team I had to volunteer. So I am now the Manager of the Boys Under-7 team at one of the fields a short drive from home.

The managing job hasn’t been too onerous so far. The biggest hassle has been to get the volunteer coaches to respond to my e-mails! (Well, one has a good response record, one decent, and the other two – hard to reach.) I needed to pick up the uniforms to distribute, and the soccer balls another time (they were supposed to be available when I picked u the uniforms but the container from wherever – probably China – hadn’t reached us yet). And I’ll need to do a bit of coordinating for the four summer weekend “festivals” (tournaments). But it shouldn’t be too bad.

There are 13 youngsters on the team and Button is the 2nd-oldest. We had a fun time for our first practice session; the evening was relatively warm and the kids and parents were keen. So we look forward to a summer filled with goals, games, and goodies!

Magical Monday

I've been lax in posting real family pictures here recently. I've been taking them, but the transfer to the computer, and from computer to blog, just hasn't been happening. Here are a few to make up for "lost time"! These date from March - we don't have snow any more!!!

Riding lessons

A visit to the Sugar Shack

Varia

Spring is on its way, though it is not quite “here” yet. We have had several very nice days, mixed with some cold and windy ones. Not much new snow, which is heartening, but the old stuff lingers on, though diminishing bit by bit.

Laolao and Button finished off the 1000-piece puzzle on Monday – all but two pieces, which were lost. Button found one by searching through the baskets under the table, but the other remains lost. That evening I took a 500-piece puzzle that was sitting in Nanny’s room and dumped it out on the table. So yesterday he started in on that one, putting together a small section.

Skating and skiing lessons are done for the year. Mustang has started a new round of horse riding lessons and I’m trying to find some good art classes for her to take starting in late March. Though my philosophy is generally one art and one sport (at a time) for extracurricular activities, since last fall the sports have dominated. But it’s high time to get Mustang back into art, as she really enjoys it and I do think it can help to enhance cognitive development! Button will have a bit of a break until late April, when they’ll both start swimming lessons again, and then in late May he’ll start soccer twice a week on a team that plays through the summer.

I’ve started reading a very interesting book entitled The Brain that Changes Itself, by Norman Doidge (MD). I’m not far into it, but the bit I’ve read so far is fascinating. It’s all about neuroplasticity – the capacity of the brain to change, form new circuits, repair itself, and develop new functions and capacities.

In one appendix he talks about how culture affects the brain and perception, citing (among other things) the Sea Gypsies, a tribe of people in the south Pacific who live as much on the water as on land and who have developed the extraordinary capacity to see under water with great clarity at great depths, and to hold their breath under water far longer than most people.

The first chapter tells the story of a woman affected by the loss of the sense of balance (leading to the perpetual and debilitating sensation of falling) who was cured by the use of a device that transmitted the messages that the vestibular system (responsible for balance) normally does via stimulus to the tongue. The brain was capable to taking those messages, which would normally be classified as touch (a sensation like champagne bubbles bursting on the tongue) and recognize them to be related to balance, and re-learn the sense of balance.

I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the book and highly recommend it for anyone interested in the brain and how it works.

Next week is March break. I’m developing a list of various activities for the kids. Only thing is, I keep thinking of it as things “we” can do – until I remember that I’ll be at work!! I’ve promised each child one evening out with Mommy all on their own, for a bit of dedicated Mommy time. I think I need to do a bit more of this, for their good and for mine.

And on Tuesday I got a bit of Mommy time all to myself – while Laolao took Mustang to horse riding and Laoye put Button to bed, I went to a movie. Saw Slumdog Millionaire, which I really enjoyed. A very interesting premise, and a fascinating method of telling the frequently disturbing story. Well worth seeing (though NOT for children under the age of at least 14 – as it is rated).

Magical Monday

Puzzling behaviour

About ten days ago, the Monday evening after the weekend Mustang had flu, I took out the 1000-piece ocean life puzzle I’ve had lurking around for the past six years or so and dumped it out onto a table in my bedroom. The kids helped me spread out the pieces and then started to pick out some of the coloured pieces and fit a few together with great gusto, while I continued turning over the pieces and spreading them out so there would be no overlap.

I told them then, and repeated it several times, that this was a hard puzzle with lots of pieces and they shouldn’t expect to get it done in one evening – in fact, it would probably take a couple of weeks to put together. I also said not to let themselves get frustrated if it wasn’t going quickly and they couldn’t find pieces to fit together – just take a break, go away for a few minutes or hours, and come back later to do a bit more work on it. I said this was the kind of puzzle that takes a long time even for grown-ups to do, and if they found it too difficult, well not to worry. They could work on it or not, whatever they wanted. But both of them were keen.

One evening later that week, after they were asleep, I searched out all the edge pieces I could find and worked on the border, getting almost all of it put together (on a little card table next to the table containing the spread-out pieces, as it wasn’t big enough for everything!). The kids noticed this first thing the next morning and were keen to do some more work themselves. They picked out some more of the pieces of brightly coloured fish and got a few more bits put together.

Bit by bit over the last ten days we’ve all worked on it and slowly it has come together. All that remains now are the shades of blue – bluish fish, bluish dolphins with some white streaks across their backs, and plain water. Laolao and Laoye have chipped in with bits and pieces, but most of it has been done by me and the kids, particularly Button (who has more time in the day to work on it).

I’m quite impressed by Button’s persistence and patience, and his improved puzzle skills. Even just a month or two back, he would frequently pick up totally inappropriate pieces (wrong colour, wrong shape) and try to fit them in somewhat randomly. But with all the puzzles we’ve done recently, he’s starting to pay more attention to colour and shape – picking out the pieces with three or four “outies” or “innies” where that’s what is needed, noticing the slight variations in shading that make a piece appropriate or not, searching for (and finding!) the right piece based on which part of it should be a given colour and what markings it ought to show as judged by the picture – and popping them into place!

Mustang, too, is showing improved puzzle skills along the same lines, though she was already better at puzzles than Button if for no other reason than being older (and further along developmentally). Recently, her greatest areas of improvement have been her patience with puzzles and interest in them – important factors in and of themselves not just for puzzle work but for many areas of endeavour, including academics.

I think one of our next puzzle purchases might include a 500-piecer – not quite as big and challenging as the one we’ve almost finished, but still enough to keep us going for a few days.

Flu, stories, puzzles

This past weekend, it was Mustang’s turn to be sick again, this time with flu. High fever, chills, fatigue (thankfully no vomiting). We had a quiet Saturday at home.

Button stayed home from skiing lesson as he developed a sore foot, the cure for which would have been for me to stay at the ski chalet as usual to “watch” him and our companion skier friend instead of dropping them off and coming back home to be with Mustang. As I wasn’t willing to leave Mustang with Nanny all day (on Nanny’s regular day off), his sore foot remained incurable and prevented him from having an active and fun outdoor day.

We listened to books on CD, read stories, watched a short movie, and did lots of puzzles. The latter were mostly done by Button and me as Mustang didn’t even have energy for much puzzling. She mostly lay on the sofa and listened to the stories on CD. We finished off Magic Tree House book #16, Hour of the Olympics, then listened to CS Lewis’s The Magician’s Nephew, and even started on The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I called various church people to trade off Sunday School teaching duties and to apologize in advance for Mustang missing her choir’s performance of a song in the church service.

As it turned out, by Sunday morning the fever had broken and Mustang had a lot more energy, but we still stayed home to have a restful day to stave off a relapse and gather energy for school. Finished listening to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, watched another movie, did more puzzles… In the afternoon we made a short excursion to Scholar’s Choice to buy a few more puzzles – we’d done every single one in the house, save one, and the kids wanted more. I happened to know the store had a buy-2-get-1-free sale on Ravensburger puzzles, and with the kids’ saved allowance money they’d have enough to each make a purchase (and I snuck in the free one for a later occasion). So we nipped over and they each chose, not the unicorn puzzles they’d started out saying they wanted, but some other lovely pictures from the 300-piece puzzle selection.

Got home, dumped them out on the table, and set to work.

As the 300-piece puzzles are labelled as for age 9+, I’d steered Button (age almost-6) towards one that I figured would among the easier of the lot (dolphins jumping out of ocean against sunset sky), with lots of colour in distinct bands and a nice, clear picture with easy-to-distinguish detail. He set to with gusto, refusing all offers of help, and in about two hours managed to complete about half the puzzle all on his own. The picture chosen by Mustang (age almost-9), while very cute (Mommy giraffe “kissing” baby giraffe, with several other giraffes, against a savannah background), was harder as there were really only three distinct colour groups (sky, trees/grass, giraffes), each of which occurred in three or four different places. She grew somewhat discouraged as the pieces didn’t just “pop” into place – though largely, I think, owing to it being already late in the afternoon and she was growing tired.

After the kids went to bed I continued working on the puzzles, almost completing Button’s (with his blessing!) and doing almost half of Mustang’s. Monday morning, they hopped out of bed and raced downstairs to work on the puzzles. Button easily fitted the final 17 pieces into place (he’d told me I should almost finish it, but leave some for him to do), and Mustang made progress with the giraffes and trees. She wanted to finish it before school but, alas, there wasn’t quite time, though between the two of them they’d gotten all but about 30 pieces done.

Conclusion: I think it’s about time to take the 24- and 48-piece puzzles in our collection to Value Village (or pass them on to someone with younger kids) as the kids can whip them up in no time already. They’re at the stage where 100 pieces is about the minimum that holds any challenge, even for Button.

A good big sister

Last weekend Button had a bad cold and was quite wiped out most of the weekend. It was a long long weekend for the kids – PD Day on Friday, Family Day on Monday. Though I don’t get the Family Day holiday as I work for the feds, I took the day off anyhow.

Had planned to get groceries on that Monday, but on Sunday realized that since Monday was a holiday the grocery store likely wouldn’t be open. Called over to confirm and yes, they would be closed Monday. We really needed groceries, so I decided to go Sunday afternoon. Stalled a bit, as Button not feeling energetic, had supper … then really needed to get to the store. Tried calling one or two neighbours to see if they could take the kids for an hour, but no one was available. Button really really didn’t want to go hang around in the grocery store, even though we said he could just sit in the cart. So I called a couple of friends from church and finally found our good friends Alleycat and Bigger D who were home – parents were out of town, but both teenagers old enough to take responsibility. So dropped the kids off at their place (not too far from grocery store) while I went and stocked up.

When we got home it was around 7:30 and Button was fading fast, but I needed to get groceries put away. I told Mustang I had a special job for her – could she take little brother upstairs and help him get to sleep while I put away the groceries? She thought that was cool (and Button didn’t insist on Mommy) so off they went. About 15 minutes later she was back downstairs, Button fast asleep (in Mommy’s bed!).

The two of us had a good time reading together, drawing pictures, and enjoying ourselves before she needed to get to sleep too.

(Later last week she picked up Button’s cold and on Thursday was running a fever so stayed home from school – to her great chagrin, as it was a field-trip day to a neighbouring school to see a play. Poor Mustang!)

Mathematical Thinking

On Monday, Button remarked to me that when he was in Ethiopia, he thought 0 (zero) just meant “nothing.”

But now – by implication – after seeing numerals like 100 and 1000 and realizing that that means a whole bunch, he understands that 0 can also be part of a numeral representing something big.

So he is beginning to form an understanding of “place value,” that 0 can be a place holder for “nothing of a particular size” within a numeral of several digits. This is a key concept for mathematical thinking in Grade 1 and beyond, when the kids start working with multiple digit numerals and doing adding and subtracting involving carrying over or borrowing.

Child-proof ... ?

Mustang has been home from school all week so far with a bad cough and, for the last couple of days, a bit of a fever (though it was down this morning).

Last night, on the way hom from Button's skating lesson, I stopped in at the drugstore and picked up some childen's Tylenol and cough syrup.

The cough syrup came in a bottle with one of those child-proof lids - the kind you have to push down while unscrewing.

I hate those things. I don't have strong hands or wrists so I find them difficult to open. Plus, for the past couple of days I've had a "kink" in my elbow that's made me unable to exert much pressure through the arm. When I buy pills that come with those kinds of lids, I open the bottle once and then throw out the lid and keep the bottle with no lid. Thankfully my kids are really good about this kind of thing and know not to touch medicines unless Mommy gives it to them. I've never had to worry about leaving bottles around open. They're not at kid-level, so it's not as though they're sitting around looking tempting, but still, all it would take is for someone to climb on the countertop and they could get at them if they wanted. But the kids know not to. A good thing, 'cause I'm sure there are enough medications floating around our house to kill a horse.

Anyhow, the cough syrup bottle utterly defeated me. I could not get it open. My wrist and elbow just wouldn't cooperate.

I had to call Button, my five-year old, over to open the bottle for me.

(That kid is strong!)

One year ago today...

... we arrived in Canada after a long trip home from Ethiopia. Button was not impressed with the cold - he didn't want to leave the warmth of our friend's van (in which he had fallen asleep during the 2-hour drive from the airport) to enter the frigid January air, even just for a rush into the warm house. So Laoye carried him in, and we pretty much fell into bed (it was about 8 pm local time, 2 am Ethiopian time!). The next morning, though at first saying it couldn't be possible to go outside (or at least communicating it without words!), after seeing Mustang get all bundled up in her snowsuit, boots, mitts and hat, he was happy to do the same and go have fun outside. Hasn't looked back since!!

Button update

He did it... The "tasks" I had appointed him to be allowed to go to skating lesson (one of which was to give Mommy a big hug when I got home and say sorry). So Mustang & Button both had fun skating and then played on the snow mountains around the parking lot (under my watchful eye) for a few minutes before we came home. All forgiven and hopefully some lessons in emotional control and consequences learned...

What's up...

Routines
Back into the school routine… Kidlets started skating and skiing lessons. Really enjoying both! I’m back into work routine… first week back was really slow but picking up again and likely to get quite busy by late January and into February. We may end up switching our home movie-watching night to Saturdays and use Friday nights to go swimming, which both kids love. Mustang has homework as before; still quite reasonable. Need to find a different approach to spelling work, though, the “exercises” teacher sends home are useless for her. But reading continues to improve.

Nanny issues
Not satisfied with Nanny’s performance in terms of taking care of children. Not that they’re neglected, just not actively engaged with, no stimulation, no management, no sense of authority/ control on her part (which, with Mustang in particular, is essential!). And no real “safety” sense. Example: in November she took the kids for a walk in the woods near out house. They didn’t want to come home despite her telling them it was time. So she came home on her own, leaving them there. (They didn’t stay long, and came back on their own very shortly thereafter, but nonetheless…) Example: in fall I would often come home and find the kids not there; they were playing at a friend’s house. Fine and good, but which friend? What house? What time were they told to come home? She cannot tell me; she doesn’t know. (I found kids easily, as there are just two likely places, but even so…) Example: Just yesterday I came home and kids weren’t there; neighbour and friend had taken them sliding. Okay, I say, I’ll go find them. I go looking in the usual spots; no kids, no neighbour. No answer at the neighbour’s door; no car in their driveway. Well, I’m not really concerned because Mustang had told me that neighbour had said he might take them sliding to a special hill a short drive away, but I don’t know which hill or where. I go back inside, ask Nanny what time they left and if neighbour said where they were going. About 4:05; they left by car [so why didn’t she tell me that right away??!!??] and no, she doesn’t know where they went other than “sliding.” AARRGGGH! Of all the basic questions! Still not really worried; I trust neighbour and I figure they’ll be back soon (it’s now 5:15) but I need to know WHERE THEY WENT!!! (If Laolao had been the one talking to neighbour you can bet she would have asked all those questions before letting them go!) I tell Nanny that no one is to take the kids away by car without my express permission (exceptions: Laolao/Laoye and good friend L). If Nanny had been able to answer my questions I might not have had to set this rule, but seeing as she NEVER asks any questions of any sort and NEVER provides any information unless explicitly asked, I have to take control. Frankly, I have no real confidence that if a complete stranger showed up and said “Mommy said I could take the kids to do X, Y, or Z” that she wouldn’t let them go without asking who, what, when, where, why, how and verifying with me!!! (The kids would probably have more sense. Mustang, in particular, has a pretty good inherent sense of caution and would likely not go with a stranger, and if Mustang didn’t go Button would not likely go. Though if Nanny said “go, stranger says he has Mommy’s permission” it might override Mustang’s good sense…) [Note to self: tell Nanny that if a stranger – or ANYONE except L – shows up and says they have my permission to take the kids somewhere and I haven’t already informed her of it, she is to check with me before letting them go. If she can’t reach me, they don’t go. Otherwise, she is likely to take stranger’s/ person’s word for it that they have permission from me.]

I have started looking around for replacement nanny, working on a few fronts to try to find someone that I will be confident is more suitable. Even starting now, replacement is not likely to arrive until May/June at the earliest. So for now Nanny will stay…

Altercations
I had been a bit concerned that there might be more bad moods/ misbehaviour/ arguments after Laolao and Laoye left and kidlets were on their on with Nanny for part of the day. So far it doesn’t seem to have had a major effect, they seem to be just as contented as before for the most part.

Exception (and I don’t think it’s really an exception; I don’t think it has much to do with Laolao/Laoye’s absence; it’s just Button being his stubborn self): this morning Button had another Button-style shutdown. He left his red mittens on the bus coming home from Kindergarten yesterday; he needs to wear some other mitts. Seeing as it’s –25 or so outside today, I deem that gloves (of which we have numerous pairs) are not satisfactory; he needs to wear a pair of thick mitts. Problem: nothing to his liking to be found. One pair of bright pink mitts; one pair of mismatched purple/blue mitts (blue one with flower design on back). He refuses to wear them.

I tell him I’ll put them in his backpack and when his hands get he you can put them on. He goes into shut-down mode. Nothing will get him to budge or to talk. Not even telling him that if he misses the bus he’ll have to walk to school and will not be allowed to go to friend L’s house after school with Mustang. Eventually, after about 10 minutes of me talking at him, he blurts out that the available mittens look like girl mittens. (Hello?!? This is a kid who willingly wears a pink t-shirt, pink shorts, bright pink socks, and a blue sweatshirt covered in butterflies and doesn’t care one whit about looking like a girl…)

I get mitts and show him: one is purple which is fine for both boys and girls, the other is dark blue and I offer to cover the offending flower design with some tape so it can’t be seen. He does not respond. In the end he does miss the bus and it is only the threat that if he doesn’t get out the door and get walking he will not be allowed to go to skiing lesson on Saturday either that gets him moving (half an hour after beginning of altercation). Nanny walks him to school.

I call later from work, after Button is home from school. I offer him a chance to “redeem” himself so he will be allowed to go to skating lesson, and tell him what he has to do. He asks if he can go to L’s. I say no. (There has to be some real consequence; he has to know when I say something I mean it.) He starts crying; he really wants to go to L’s. Sorry. No. (Sigh.) I’ll check back before going home to see whether he’s met the conditions for skating; I hope so but I’m not counting on it…

Traffic
On a slightly happier note, traffic seems to not be so horrible these days, despite the continuing bus strike. I’ve actually made it home in 30-35 minutes once or twice, and to work in 25-30, which is almost normal! And I’ve got a monthly parking pass now, so even if I get to the parking lot late I can still get a spot.

Only eight weeks and two days until the spring equinox!

Button's Family Day!!!

December 31, 2007, was the day Button joined our family. It has been a year filled with learning, laughter, and love. From not wanting to spend much time with me he has turned into a little boy who loves his Mommy very much, likes to hug and snuggle me, and wants Mommy to be around as much as possible.

Button then:

... and now...

We celebrated on Monday night (the last night Laolao and Laoye were with us) but going out for Chinese food.


Yep, Chinese. We’ve had Ethiopian a few times recently and Laoye didn’t want to eat injera again (tsk, tsk, Laoye!). But it’s been some time since we’ve gone out for Chinese, and Button likes it, too, so that’s where we went. We discovered that our favourite Chinese restaurant is closed on Mondays (I think we’ve discovered that before, but it doesn’t seem to stick!) so we went across the street to a Vietnamese fusion restaurant and very much enjoyed it. Then drove downtown, parked, and walked around to see the Christmas lights.




Here is a bit of a look back. I started writing the following lists in January 2008. I had originally meant it to be a post on the first two weeks. Then three. Then four. Then one month back in Canada (Feb 16, 2008). Then two months. Then three… Well, here it is, one year later… Two kids keep you busy!

A little bit of the “Me-me” game, for the three of us.

Button (since he’s the newest)

1. His favourite colour is yellow. Pink, red, and orange are close seconds.
2. He is stubborn.
3. He has perseverance - sometimes. When learning to skate (Jan 2008), he didn’t let the falling stop him. He would get up again and again and again and keep doggedly trying. He saw the other boys - some about his own age - skating effortlessly, handling their sticks and shooting the puck, and he wanted to do it to. Our friends gave him a little stick and he would shoot his own puck, shuffle across the ice to it, and shoot it again. He found his balance fairly easily (using his sister’s out-grown pink figure skates) but has yet to figure out the push and glide part. But when we tried him with some friends’ out-grown hockey skates, he didn’t like them – harder to balance on.
4. He knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say it. Okay. But when he doesn’t get his own way, he tends to sulk. Or scream. [Dec 2008: The screaming is now rare. The sulking has improved a lot, too.]
5. He is very into things with buttons, switches, dials, knobs… He has to press them, turn them, click them… He wants to figure out how things work – and generally can, fairly quickly (as long as the machine being operated is not so complex as to be beyond his cognitive capacity as a four-year-old!). Yesterday in the car, I drew his attention to the windshield wipers and fluid on the back window. His question: “Ma, window wash, which one button? (i.e. which button do you press to clean the window?)
6. He is half vegetarian. Or at least not a fan of most kinds of meat. But a great lover of fruit and most vegetables, dry cereals, potatoes, rice and noodles. Oh, and injera. He will call pancakes injera, though they’re not quite the same!
7. He has an Ethiopian accent. (For now.) We noticed, when there, that people usually would add an extra vowel between certain consonant groups, and before the plural s after a consonant at the end of a word. So “six” is pronounced “sickis” and “chips” would be “chipis.” He also pronounces “this” and “that” as “zis” and ‘zatSeeing as his first English teaches were fellow Ethiopians, it makes sense, but he’ll have to unlearn that! I took him to McDonalds one day for lunch. He’d already been with Laolao and Laoye, and he asked me for “chiss.” I took this to mean “cheese,” so I asked him “cheeseburger?” and he said yes. Given #6 above, I couldn’t really see him eating a cheeseburger, so I ordered French fries, chicken nuggets, and apple slices, despite his saying “chicken yucky, French fries yucky.” When he saw the fries, he said “yum, chiss!” Oh, you mean “chips!” So we spent a few minutes practicing the word “chips.” I have also had him practice “coat” and “cat” which sounded very similar when he said them. And we’re working on the proper “th” sounds for “this,” “that” and “mouth” (rather than “zis,” “zat” and “mouse”). His latest phrase, picked up from his sister and practiced extensively a few days ago: “What the heck!” [Dec ’08: His speech is, of course, much, much improved. Gone is the extra vowel as in “chipis” and “sickis.” But he still does tend to miss the “th” sometimes, though it’s now usually “dis” and “dat.”]
8. He loves cars, trucks, airplanes, and any kind of toy vehicle. And he can really kick a ball!
9. He also wants to play with his sister’s My Little Ponies. But she says they’re “mine!” and he is not to touch, so she’s had me put them in inaccessible locations where he can’t get at them. When he got a new big truck on Friday, he had me do the same with it. Hmmm, how can we get over the “mine, mine” syndrome? [Dec ’08: The My Little Ponies came out of hiding a few months ago, and there isn’t too too much of the “mine” – on either side. Thank goodness!]
10. He can recite the alphabet and count fairly accurately from 1 to 20. But present him with a letter or number in isolation and he can’t always recognize it. Though he does know M (his letter), T (his sister’s), R (mine), as well as A, B and C, and he’s learned S (for snake). Like many kids, he hasn’t yet figured out the difference between M and W. [Dec ’08: Significant improvement here. He knows all the letters, pretty much, and numbers, too, though generally skips 15 when counting from 1 to 20! He can write most letters, though some are not as neat as others, and can do simple math. His kindergarten teacher says he’ll be ready for Grade 1 for sure. I think he’s generally more academically inclined than Mustang.]

Mustang

1. Her favourite colours are purple, blue, and pink. Followed by white and red. Oh, and yellow, green and orange.
2. She is stubborn.
3. She is creative. She likes drawing, colouring, painting, and most anything artsy. (When reading through the Grade 1 curriculum documents last year, I thought the only subjects she was likely to get an A in were the arts. I was right.) She’s come up with some very interesting Lego creations – yesterday she built a “model” of my office building, complete with tall tower, park benches, flower garden, and pathways. She’s built lots of little Lego animals. On the beach, she’s a paragon of sand-castle building industry.
4. She likes to be in control. More than she is capable of being, as a 7-year-old. The end result is often a loss of temper. (Hers, mine, or both.) [Dec ’08: Some progress here, thank goodness.]
5. She LOVES horses. She has a half dozen horse stuffies, about 50 or 60 plastic horses of varying sizes, multiple horse books, horse pictures. All that’s lacking is the real thing. A friend did take her for a pony ride once, and she was in seventh heaven. Last year she attended the rodeo in western Canada with Laolao and Laoye, and they were camped right next to the horse pasture. She would go over and feed the horses (grasses she picked) as often as she could. Last summer, Laolao found a set of matched mother and baby horses at Value Village. She had to read one book to earn a mother and baby. She tore through the books like nobody’s business, she wanted those little horses so bad! She now keeps them in a little music box decorated with horses, given to her by an observant friend for her 7th birthday. [Dec ’08: In spring she started Horsemanship lessons and did a second round in fall. This involves learning about tack, grooming the horses, and learning to saddle and bridle a horse. In Nov-Dec she did a first round of horse riding lessons and very much enjoyed it. We’ll take a break over winter and she’ll start again in spring.]
6. She loves animals of all kinds. At the library, in addition to the usual storybooks, she likes to take out books about different kinds of animals and have me read them to her. She knows the names of many different breeds of dogs and their characteristics, different kinds of horses and what they do. She is an expert butterfly catcher, and last summer caught a dragonfly and a praying mantis. She has caught multiple frogs, and found a rabbit nest (with eight very young baby bunnies) in a neighbour’s yard last spring. When she grows up, she wants to be a Wild Girl in western Canada and help look after hurt animals.
7. She has an excellent memory for things that interest her. She remembers the details about the animal books we’ve read, places she’s been and things she’s seen.
8. She has a keen interest in the natural world. Animals in particular, but also bugs, plants, flowers, and more recently planets, stars and space. I try to feed this interest and keep alive her love of learning.
9. She is NOT into academics. The “core subjects” – reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic – are not her forte. Where she does much better is in the “applied” subjects – social studies, science, health, gym, and of course the arts. (I call them “applied” because that’s where the core skills are applied in a way that results in learning things of substance.) Of course, in order to continue to make progress in the “applied” subjects she will need to attain a certain mastery of the core subjects. I just hope that school doesn’t kill her love of learning before she gets there. [Dec ’08: She has made great strides in reading. Still stumbles and requires assistance; still somewhat below expected grade level, but much, much better. She read 26 chapter books over the summer!!! (with Mommy’s assistance and pushing) and has continued with more in the fall. Now we need to work more on math, too.]
10. She loves stories. When we’re in the car travelling somewhere or sitting at the dinner table starting dessert, her opening line often is “Mommy, tell me a story.” She then proceeds to tell me which characters should be in it (usually animals), how they should interact, and the main plotline. I am to furnish the details, the drama, and the descriptive language. As the story progresses, she furnishes further plot. But I have to retell what she’s told me to say, preferably adding description and drama - if I simply take what she’s said as part of the story and try to move on, she will often get upset. To date, the most common story theme has been animals meeting, mating, and producing babies. (It is of little import whether this involves two dogs or, say, a cat and an elephant…) I sometimes try to get her to tell me a story but she usually resists. Though I’ve had some success at doing a rotating story (i.e. we take turns adding a sentence). But she can tell a pretty good story herself. On Christmas Eve (2007), we has Christmas story time. I read the Bible account from Mark 2, Laolao read an Ethiopian Christmas story, and Mustang told the Biblical Christmas story in great detail and with expression (and without any prompting), all the way from the angel’s announcement to Mary to the family’s flight to Egypt.

Mama

1. My favourite colour is green. Followed by orange and yellow. The more smashing, the better.
2. I am stubborn.
3. Language and writing are my things. (In case you hadn’t noticed, all you eye-candy-hungry blog readers out there…) I have had several short stories and some poems published in various Canadian literary magazines. But nothing in the last ten years or so. Got too busy at work, and lately with adoptions and parenting. This skill has, however, proven useful in responding to Giggles’ story requests, though my strength is in story-writing not telling. Given her penchant for ordering the story and the single-theme focus, the story-telling results are not stellar literary accomplishments. In three years of story-telling, I have come up with two stories that I have thought could actually be good ones if written down. But I didn’t do so. One (about cats, aliens, and rubber bands) I might be able to recreate, the other (about camels, a crocodile, and an oasis) is so far past it’s mostly lost in the depths of memory. You will note that neither story involves meeting, mating, and producing babies. I think she gave me more free reign with these two…
4. I enjoy photography and in my early teens even toyed with the idea of becoming a photographer. (Something you eye-candy-hungry blog readers may find hard to believe!!! But the shortage of photos has more to do with the fact I still use ancient technology that require filling a film and taking it to a store for processing, and the fact that we spent a month in Ethiopia, where they gave me a CD with upside-down photos on it, than anything else.) I have produced a few decent photos in my time, and still enjoy trying to get an artistic shot. Though most of the photography these days is to record the lives, antics and accomplishments of two little munchkins. [Dec ’08: As you have seen recently, the newly acquired digital camera has resulted in a great proliferation of eye-candy. Hope you like some of my attempts at artistic shots, too.]
5. I have generally thought I had a great deal of patience with people (if not with things). Life with two munchkins is testing that. I find I have less patience than I thought I did (though still a pretty reasonable amount, I hope) and get angry faster than I thought I did. But the big thing – and it is the BIG thing – is controlling one’s anger, not doing anything rash, and NOT staying angry. At one of the adoption parenting seminars I attended, the mantra the speaker gave us was “Stay connected to your child.” That has stuck in my mind and it is my touchstone. I am still building connections to Button, but Mustang and I are well connected and any occasions where temper arises end quickly and with hugs and kisses. [Dec ’08: I still find it somewhat easier to connect to Mustang, likely because Button tends to shut down when upset, whereas Mustang is a talker. But the Button connections are real and continuing to deepen.]
   
   [The following points were added in Dec ’08, as this is the point where I ran out of steam last winter.]
6. I love to travel. I wish I didn’t have to work but could take my kids all over the place – Canada, the world! Our western vacation was a testament to that. Next summer will be more local holidays, since I hope to take them to China in 2010.
7. I have rheumatoid arthritis. It is in many ways not a huge factor in parenting, though in others it is. I don’t participate in athletics, so my kids take skating and skiing lessons rather than have me teach them. When we go sledding I stand and watch and cheer them on. I don’t even ride bike – I used to, but my knees don’t bend enough (haven’t for the past 25 years) so I count on friends to take the kids for bike rides. Mustang, when we’re out walking on icy streets or on forest paths, is very good at taking care of her Mommy and giving me a hand.
8. I have no siblings, so – since they don’t have a dad – my kids don’t have any aunts, uncles, or cousins. I’m trying to give my kids a sense of the larger extended family (seeing as I have about 25 uncles and aunts and close to 40 cousins) but it’s hard for them to really get to know the family since we live so far away and rarely see them. Members of our church have become our extended family.
9. I’m very organized and a bit of a neat-freak. Not clean – things can get dirty and it doesn’t bother me – but I like things neat. (Button is fairly tidy and organized by nature, too, though not Mustang, at least not regularly. Her teachers say she keeps her desk tidy and well-organized. Huh? Is that my kid you’re talking about?!!?)
10. I love being a mom.

Magical Monday

One year ago today

Joy!!


One year ago today our good friend W loaded the four of us – Laolao, Laoye, Mustang and me – into his van with our eight heavy, fat suitcases and four carry-ons and we headed off through the swirling snow to the distant airport from which our journey to Ethiopia – and to a bright little boy – would begin. Some 22 hours later we landed in Addis Ababa.

Owing to our planned tours, it took another nine days before we met that little boy, and another seven days after that before he joined us. But in the past 11 ½ months, the bright little Button boy has become an integral part of our family. I can, now, hardly imagine life without him.

Report Card Day

Yesterday was report card day. Mustang’s teachers have worked in the past couple of weeks to prepare an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for her so that, in their words, she could be given marks reflective of the effort she is putting in. Her IEP focuses on reading, writing and math. With the IEP in place, she received very good marks – mostly Bs.

So far we have really focused at home on her reading skills. That is no doubt why her reading is approaching grade level. Her teachers say that whenever there’s a break in the work and she has a bit of “free time” or she’s done what’s expected, she’ll pull out a book and read. Yesterday she took to school the Magic Tree House #30 which she received as an Advent present on Sunday, because she wanted to get right at it. They view it as a good sign that she likes books and reading so much, despite still struggling with it. So do I.

It’s high time, though, I started working more on math with her. We’ve done occasional bits of review and practice, but nothing sustained or systematic, which is really what’s required.

The thing is that she already works so hard in school, I don’t want to overload her with work at home. If we do 20 minutes of reading, 10 minutes of typing, and 10 minutes of math every day, that’s a pretty heavy workload already for an 8-year-old. Add to that the school-issued homework – perhaps 10 minutes of spelling practice three or four nights a week, plus one page of language arts and two pages of math homework per week that we try to complete in two nights (so as to keep the weekend free of school-issued homework) – and it really adds up. (By mid-January I'm hoping that she will have good enough keyboarding skills that spelling practice and typing practice can be integrated at least in part.) But Mustang is beginning to recognize more and more that to make progress she will have to work harder than many other kids. But she still needs time just to be a kid and have fun.

As for Button, being in Kindergarten, he did not receive a report card this term. I will meet with his teacher on Thursday to discuss his progress, but no formal report card is prepared for Kindergartners until term 2.

Off-hand, I’d say he’s doing quite well. He’s recognizing letters and numbers, can count fairly reliably to 20 (though for some reason 15 if often dropped!), can do some basic addition counting on his fingers, has a pretty good number sense, is getting better at printing the letters and numbers, and likes to (pretend to) read.

When he’s playing on some of the kids’ websites on my computer, he’s quite capable of using the Favourites to get to some bookmarked sites, based on recognition of the first letter of the word or words that make up the shortcut and their position in the list.

And the other day, playing a number recognition math game on the kids’ computer (counting the number of balls on the screen and then clicking on the right number), he used a “short-cut” strategy to try to get the answer – if there were lots of balls on the screen he’d pick the biggest number first, rather than stop to count them. Unfortunately for him, this resulted in a lot of wrong answers (he’d pick 10 when there were really 9 balls, for example) – but I found it interesting that he already had the sense of large quantity relating to high numbers and knew which ones those were!

Afternoon with friends

Right at the end of summer we met up with a couple of Ethiopian adoptive family friends (who couldn’t make it to the gathering a couple of weeks earlier). One of the families lives on a farm about an hour’s drive from the city and has all kinds of animals rescued from animal shelters. Since Mustang LOVES animals, I invited our family out to the farm. Finney made it a super fun afternoon by inviting SK and her gang of four, as well as Finney’s sister and her kids.

It was a gorgeous late August afternoon. We basked in the sun (and shade, when it got too hot).


The kids (and a few grown-ups) got a soccer game going in the yard. Everyone said Button was a pro – get your autographs now!!


Then there was the pond, complete with frogs…


After playing we had a lovely supper with Ethiopian food made by SK’s nanny.


Then the three of us headed over to Finney’s sister’s place, a short drive away, because she had HORSES!! Each of the kids took a turn riding the pony bareback (being led).