What's up...

Routines
Back into the school routine… Kidlets started skating and skiing lessons. Really enjoying both! I’m back into work routine… first week back was really slow but picking up again and likely to get quite busy by late January and into February. We may end up switching our home movie-watching night to Saturdays and use Friday nights to go swimming, which both kids love. Mustang has homework as before; still quite reasonable. Need to find a different approach to spelling work, though, the “exercises” teacher sends home are useless for her. But reading continues to improve.

Nanny issues
Not satisfied with Nanny’s performance in terms of taking care of children. Not that they’re neglected, just not actively engaged with, no stimulation, no management, no sense of authority/ control on her part (which, with Mustang in particular, is essential!). And no real “safety” sense. Example: in November she took the kids for a walk in the woods near out house. They didn’t want to come home despite her telling them it was time. So she came home on her own, leaving them there. (They didn’t stay long, and came back on their own very shortly thereafter, but nonetheless…) Example: in fall I would often come home and find the kids not there; they were playing at a friend’s house. Fine and good, but which friend? What house? What time were they told to come home? She cannot tell me; she doesn’t know. (I found kids easily, as there are just two likely places, but even so…) Example: Just yesterday I came home and kids weren’t there; neighbour and friend had taken them sliding. Okay, I say, I’ll go find them. I go looking in the usual spots; no kids, no neighbour. No answer at the neighbour’s door; no car in their driveway. Well, I’m not really concerned because Mustang had told me that neighbour had said he might take them sliding to a special hill a short drive away, but I don’t know which hill or where. I go back inside, ask Nanny what time they left and if neighbour said where they were going. About 4:05; they left by car [so why didn’t she tell me that right away??!!??] and no, she doesn’t know where they went other than “sliding.” AARRGGGH! Of all the basic questions! Still not really worried; I trust neighbour and I figure they’ll be back soon (it’s now 5:15) but I need to know WHERE THEY WENT!!! (If Laolao had been the one talking to neighbour you can bet she would have asked all those questions before letting them go!) I tell Nanny that no one is to take the kids away by car without my express permission (exceptions: Laolao/Laoye and good friend L). If Nanny had been able to answer my questions I might not have had to set this rule, but seeing as she NEVER asks any questions of any sort and NEVER provides any information unless explicitly asked, I have to take control. Frankly, I have no real confidence that if a complete stranger showed up and said “Mommy said I could take the kids to do X, Y, or Z” that she wouldn’t let them go without asking who, what, when, where, why, how and verifying with me!!! (The kids would probably have more sense. Mustang, in particular, has a pretty good inherent sense of caution and would likely not go with a stranger, and if Mustang didn’t go Button would not likely go. Though if Nanny said “go, stranger says he has Mommy’s permission” it might override Mustang’s good sense…) [Note to self: tell Nanny that if a stranger – or ANYONE except L – shows up and says they have my permission to take the kids somewhere and I haven’t already informed her of it, she is to check with me before letting them go. If she can’t reach me, they don’t go. Otherwise, she is likely to take stranger’s/ person’s word for it that they have permission from me.]

I have started looking around for replacement nanny, working on a few fronts to try to find someone that I will be confident is more suitable. Even starting now, replacement is not likely to arrive until May/June at the earliest. So for now Nanny will stay…

Altercations
I had been a bit concerned that there might be more bad moods/ misbehaviour/ arguments after Laolao and Laoye left and kidlets were on their on with Nanny for part of the day. So far it doesn’t seem to have had a major effect, they seem to be just as contented as before for the most part.

Exception (and I don’t think it’s really an exception; I don’t think it has much to do with Laolao/Laoye’s absence; it’s just Button being his stubborn self): this morning Button had another Button-style shutdown. He left his red mittens on the bus coming home from Kindergarten yesterday; he needs to wear some other mitts. Seeing as it’s –25 or so outside today, I deem that gloves (of which we have numerous pairs) are not satisfactory; he needs to wear a pair of thick mitts. Problem: nothing to his liking to be found. One pair of bright pink mitts; one pair of mismatched purple/blue mitts (blue one with flower design on back). He refuses to wear them.

I tell him I’ll put them in his backpack and when his hands get he you can put them on. He goes into shut-down mode. Nothing will get him to budge or to talk. Not even telling him that if he misses the bus he’ll have to walk to school and will not be allowed to go to friend L’s house after school with Mustang. Eventually, after about 10 minutes of me talking at him, he blurts out that the available mittens look like girl mittens. (Hello?!? This is a kid who willingly wears a pink t-shirt, pink shorts, bright pink socks, and a blue sweatshirt covered in butterflies and doesn’t care one whit about looking like a girl…)

I get mitts and show him: one is purple which is fine for both boys and girls, the other is dark blue and I offer to cover the offending flower design with some tape so it can’t be seen. He does not respond. In the end he does miss the bus and it is only the threat that if he doesn’t get out the door and get walking he will not be allowed to go to skiing lesson on Saturday either that gets him moving (half an hour after beginning of altercation). Nanny walks him to school.

I call later from work, after Button is home from school. I offer him a chance to “redeem” himself so he will be allowed to go to skating lesson, and tell him what he has to do. He asks if he can go to L’s. I say no. (There has to be some real consequence; he has to know when I say something I mean it.) He starts crying; he really wants to go to L’s. Sorry. No. (Sigh.) I’ll check back before going home to see whether he’s met the conditions for skating; I hope so but I’m not counting on it…

Traffic
On a slightly happier note, traffic seems to not be so horrible these days, despite the continuing bus strike. I’ve actually made it home in 30-35 minutes once or twice, and to work in 25-30, which is almost normal! And I’ve got a monthly parking pass now, so even if I get to the parking lot late I can still get a spot.

Only eight weeks and two days until the spring equinox!