We started off the day by having the kids check out their Christmas stockings we'd set out the night before, in honour of Ethiopian Christmas. Not that Ethiopians do stockings, but I'd promised Giggles three Christmases this year (before leaving home, western Christmas, and Ethiopian Christmas). Plus I'd wanted to have some sort of a Christmas celebration with Poppet, not that he knows what it's all about yet. Anyhow, I'd brought along a few little gifts for the kids, and Laolao had picked up a small bubble-blowing kit for each child the day before, as well as a few balloons.
Giggles, of course, knew what was up, and pulled Poppet into the living room to open his bag. Poppet was quite taken with his elephant stuffy and the bubble-maker, and especially the balloon. He also seemed interested in the music CD I'd brought along to give him, perhaps taking it for a computer CD. But one of the best prezzies was a little bag, meant perhaps to be a lunch bag, that Giggles had bought at home to be her Christmas present to him. It is special because it has become his little treasure box, where he puts all his own prized possessions. He very carefully tucked elephant into it, as well as a few other little things he's collected, and stashed it in the closet. (He's since accessed it many times to take things out for playing, but is generally careful to put them back in once he's done.)
Right after breakfast, the kids went out back to see the sheep, now headless, before the slaughter was complete.
Despite it's being Christmas (again), Giggles still had schoolwork to do, so she and I spent the morning slogging while Poppet went out with Laolao and Laoye. They came back to report that many of the stores were open, whereas we'd been told that most things would be closed for the holiday. The small shops were all closed, but the larger stores were open, including the pastry shop where we'd taken care to purchase our cake the day before, to be sure to have one. The maid even showed up, though she left early. We gave her a Christmas present of 50 birr.
Lunch was simple, but topped off with a birthday cake (inscribed "Merry Christmas"!) and a candle, for my birthday. (Not sure what Poppet made of the fact that it was clearly me the Happy Birthday song was sung for, but he and Giggles who got the presents in the morning - whether he even associates presents with birthdays...)
We had a fairly lazy afternoon. The kids played with their bubble-makers, their balloons, and the ball. We took a stroll down the road and stopped for our usual ice cream.
All in all, it was a fairly relaxing day, except that Poppet had some trying times. It actually started last night. The kids had been watching some television before brushing teeth and going to bed. Then, for some reason, Poppet started crying, refusing to go to bed and not wanting me to sit with him. (Bedtime has so far been the one time he's most open to receiving and giving affection with me.) With little language, he couldn't explain what was bothering him and we couldn't figure it out. I ended up calling Laoye in, hoping that might help as he usually responds to Laoye, but it made little difference. We finally got him settled, after at least half an hour. I really have no idea what triggered it, except perhaps that he's starting to get over the novelty of everything and missing his caregivers and friends.
Today, then, he had several periods of sulking and tears. One came when his balloon popped. He had been playing with Laoye on the porch when it popped, and Laoye sat down and pretended to cry. That set him off. (Ooops.) A couple more times during the day, when he didn't get what he wanted, he would go off to cry or sulk. In the afternoon, when we went off for ice cream, at first he didn't want to go, so Laolao and Giggles and I set off, leaving him with Laoye. After a second short crying jag, Laoye got fed up and told him to stop - and he did. At which point they came and joined us at the ice cream shop.
In the meantime, Giggles has been experiencing some jealousy over sharing me. She wants special time with Mommy, time just for her and Mommy. (Of course, the fact that she spends half the day just with Mommy doing schoolwork doesn't seem to factor into her equation!) We'd talked beforehand about the need to share Mommy, but the reality of it is not easy. At least not today.
It's hard knowing how to handle some of this. I want to comfort Poppet, but he resists comfort - from me or from anyone else, when he's sulking. I wish I knew how much was sulking at not getting his own way, and how much of the tears are from loneliness or missing friends. One wants to give him a bit of leeway, as his whole world has been turned upside down, but at the same time one can't give in to every whim or want. Especially with another child in the picture, some sort of "fairness" must be maintained We can explain to Giggles, but she is still a child, too, and her world has also changed, though not as drastically. At times she is generous and willing to share and give him extra things, or let him have what he wants. (At those times I tell her she is being a good big sister.) Other times she just wishes him gone.
It has also been a time for Giggles to reflect on how it was when we went to China to adopt her. She remembers little of that, but she has asked a couple of times "Did I do that?" or "What did you do when...?" and I've been able to relay some of her story back to her and relate it to how Poppet is now behaving. Sometimes it helps her to behave generously and with compassion, but it's easy for her to forget, too.
And so we continue.
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