Our little family of two is well on its way to expanding by 50%. Giggles and I are preparing to travel to Ethiopia sometime in fall to bring home a little brother or sister age 4 or 5 years old – about 2 or 3 years younger than Giggles.
It all got started last November, when I met with my social worker to launch a second homestudy. As some of you are aware, I had major last-minute headaches with acceptance by China when I adopted Giggles, owing to my own health issues combined with the fact I’m single. It took high-level political intervention to convince the Chinese authorities to approve me as an adoptive parent (thanks again to then-MPs K.E. and W.S., old family friends, for their assistance, and to everyone else in a position of influence who wrote letters for me).
So I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to adopt again from China, but thought that if I could show how well things have gone with Giggles in the intervening two years they would agree, especially as I would want to adopt an older child with special needs and these kids aren’t high on most people’s priority list. (Yes, Giggles is a “special needs” kid too, believe it or not. How anyone with so much spunk and energy could be considered “special needs” just because she requires some surgery and speech therapy is beyond me, but it’s what brought her to me so thank God for special needs kids.)
It didn’t take long for that bubble to burst. The agency made inquiries and the answer came back loud and clear: No. Their acceptance of me last time was a one-time deal, not to be repeated under any conditions. (As it turns out, in very short order China came out publicly with new rules governing who would be considered acceptable parenting material, and singles are no longer on the list, even those with stellar health records. Even couples have had greater restrictions placed on their acceptability, based on health, age and wealth.)
This didn’t actually faze me too much, as I’d been keeping Vietnam in my back pocket as a second possible destination. (Ever try to cram a whole country in your back pocket before…?) I discussing this with the agency, and at first they said it shouldn’t be a problem as Vietnam didn’t indicate any health restrictions in its indications of what it considered “ideal adoptive parents”, but it didn’t take long and they were saying they’d make inquiries in advance with the authorities there to see whether I’d be acceptable.
This got me to wondering, and I began to investigate other possible destinations. Ghana caught my eye as the only country I could find that seemed very open to people with health issues, as the information specifically indicated that prospective parents with disabilities can adopt as long as they can demonstrate their ability to care for the child. But in international adoption, things aren’t so straightforward. You have to find an agency that is licensed to facilitate adoptions in that country, and there didn’t seem to be any in Ontario (Ontario regulations require that the agency be licensed in Ontario, not just in Canada). The only one I found that mentioned having facilitared adoptions from Ghana told me they were generally relative adoptions. Plus, from what I could tell, it seemed adoptions from Ghana could take up to two years to complete and I didn’t have that kind of patience. (I know, tell that to the people on the waiting list to adopt from China, who are now facing waits of two years or more for a referral after their file reaches China… well, that’s their decision. If they chose to adopt a special needs child they could cut that time to six to eight months or maybe less.)
Ethiopia seemed to be a good possibility. The agency I’d used to adopt Giggles didn’t have an Ethiopia program but another agency did and my social worker had done homestudies for several clients who used them. The process was speedy, and while the information didn’t specifically state whether parents could have health issues, my gut instinct told me that African cultures generally are more open to people being “different” than Asian cultures are. (I know, I know, massive stereotype…)
In the meantime, my social worker was also being more “sticky” about my health issues this time, asking my references to provide a letter specifically addressing my health issues and back-up resources, in addition to the standard letter, and not wanting to proceed with the homestudy per se until these were received. While they were busy writing and he was busy considering, I went ahead and got all the other paperwork I’d need ready for when everything would be settled, as I was sure it would. So November and December passed, and we were well into January.
Of course, my social worker was leaving for a month’s holidays in mid-February, so if I wanted to stick to my timetable I had to get my homestudy done before he left, and that meant – in addition to all the paperwork – I had to make a decision. Which would it be: Vietnam or Ethiopia? Vietnam had the advantage of being another Asian culture with certain similarities to China, so there would be more concordance between my two kids’ backgrounds. Not to mention that, for future “homeland visits,” it would be easier to get to both Vietnam and China in one trip than Vietnam and Ethiopia.
Then two things happened that made the pendulum swing the other way: my old agency announced that since things in Vietnam were moving slowly, they wouldn’t be accepting new files for Vietnam until at least July; and it occurred to me that there is an Ethiopian fellowship that meets in my church building and I could make connections there to serve as an “in” to maintaining cultural links for my new child. In addition, I thought that the presence of another adoptive Caucasian/African-American family in my church would mean there’d be at least one other family in our close circle that looked a bit like ours. (And maybe Mr. Cars would appreciate that fact, too.)
So the decision was made, the homestudy finalized, and the paperwork and fees sent off to the agency. They prepared the package for Ontario Ministry approval, and the official waiting began.
Thankfully, the first step in the waiting game didn’t take too long. Ministry approval came in four week’s time. So I gathered up the next set of documents, another whack of fees, and mailed it off the agency around Easter. The whole file was sent to the Ethiopian embassy in Ottawa, which needs to “authenticate” it and have it translated into Amharic, after which it will be sent to Ethiopia for the next stage of the waiting game.
The next steps should go something like this:
- Dossier to Ethiopia by the end of April or early May
- Referral sent to me within about two months, so by late June or early July
- Court date in Ethiopia to approve the adoption (attended by the agency’s representative in my stead) by mid-August
- Travel to Ethiopia by mid-October to bring my new child home.
As last time, I expect Laolao and Laoye to travel with me (speaking of Laolao and Laoye, it looks like Ethiopian sibling is likely to inherit grandparents with Chinese attributions…), and I’ll take Giggles too, to welcome her new brother or sister into the family. I hope to travel at least a few days in advance and take the opportunity to do a wee bit of tourism, too – perhaps introduce Giggles to some African wildlife in the flesh… Of course, as it means missing school, we don’t want to extend the trip too much, but this will be an education of a different sort.
So stay tuned for further musings, updates, and information as we get set to grow!!
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