Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
27 July 2009
The latest on the Imagine Adoption fiasco...
This article reveals that the owners/chief employees of Imagine Adoption (Kids Link) are now under investigation for fraud.
20 July 2009
Thoughts and info on the Imagine Adoption fiasco
Random info gleaned from various other blogs
An on-line petition is “circulating” (or whatever things do on-line) to ask the government(s) to step in and assist families affected by the bankruptcy to complete their adoptions. Apparently, the government is promising to help for families who have received referrals, to complete the court process for those still waiting for court, and to speedily process immigration visas or citizenship for those whose children are already legally theirs (see this article). However, that still leaves in limbo anywhere up to 300 families who were at the beginning of the wait, either waiting for a referral or with files still awaiting approval by the Ontario Ministry. The petition asks the government to “facilitate and complete ALL of Imagine Adoption’s active files affected by this bankruptcy filing” (emphasis added). If you are at all interested in signing the petition, you can access it here.
A family in Addis reports that a lawyer from BDO, the Canadian agency handling the bankruptcy investigation (from a bookkeeping and money point of view), met in Addis with the families who have gone there to claim their children. He reported that an anonymous corporate donor has stepped in and promised funding to support the Transition House (the facility where the children live in Ethiopia while waiting to be referred to their new parents and while the adoption process is completed) until all children waiting for court or for visas are united with their parents. This is excellent news; some people had started fundraising to support the TH, but that is no longer necessary. The family reports that children who have not yet been referred are being sent back to their orphanages of origin, and the baby house has been shut down to save on costs (I think that refers to the second house at a different location – presumably all babies there would have been taken to the TH is Addis if already referred). Additionally, the lawyer met with the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi, which has promised to rush through the visas for the children at that stage of the process.
This particular family was fortunate to have successfully completed the court process just days before the bankruptcy (after an extremely lengthy process – about 9 months from referral to successful court – not sure what the issues were, but that’s far far longer than the usual 1-3 months). The mother has gone to Ethiopia to claim the children and look after them until they receive their visas. They are hoping it will be relatively quick, what with extra effort on the part of Nairobi to process these visas, although they need first to obtain the final court documents and get their daughters’ Ethiopian passports to send to Nairobi, which could take a few weeks. The father has remained at home, so he missed the initial meeting with their twin girls, but is getting regular reports. He plans to go to Ethiopia after the August long weekend to spend time with his wife and daughters. They hope the visas will arrive while he is there so they can all return as a family of four. If not, he will return while his wife and daughters stay there to wait out the immigration process.
Another family I know (single Mom) has gone to Ethiopia to check things out. Her daughter’s case was to go to court on the Wednesday after the bankruptcy; she did not know if that would still happen or how she might find out, as Imagine’s Canadian offices are now closed. So she left on Friday to spend one week there to assess the situation, find out if court was successful, determine how her daughter will be cared for during the next few months of the process, and generally try to find some clarity in this mess.
Meanwhile, the families here in Canada affected by this bankruptcy have started united blog called the United Families of Imagine Adoption to stay informed and elicit support (emotional and “active”). I expect that, as the majority of the families were still at the early stages of the process, they may focus their efforts on trying to find a solution for the families who were still waiting for referral, as the other families have already been sort of taken care of, or at least have already had support promised as well as extra government action. It’s the families waiting for referral who stand to lose everything.
Random thoughts on the situation
One of the things about this that I find hardest to swallow is that this agency billed itself as a Christian adoption agency. To my mind, an agency or business that plays the Christian card had better make sure that its actions live up to its words. It should have exemplary behaviour as a business (and on the part of the staff) and if business failure is looming, the owners or directors should do everything possible to avoid it.
I have no knowledge of the details of why this bankruptcy occurred. I just know that there are many other Canadian adoption agencies, and none of them has gone bankrupt despite challenging times in international adoption. Mayhap there were other factors. Yet the rumours abound about unethical, even criminal behaviour on the part of the owners of Imagine (and certainly there are a few things on the balance sheet filed by the bankruptcy trustees that do not look so good), as well as unethical behaviour (from a Christian standpoint at least) in their private lives.
Apparently the agency’s license was renewed in October. One wonders how things could have changed so drastically in the last nine months. Yes, yes, the world economy has gone into a tailspin in that same period, and thousands of workers even here in Canada have lost jobs. But the adoption agency has received fees from prospective parents, and I can’t see that costs in Canada at least would have risen so drastically (though I do hear, via completely unrelated sources, that costs in Ethiopia of basic commodities have been increasing at alarming rates – but if that were the sole cause I would think the agency would have been able to justifiably increase rates so as to cover costs), so one would think that the agency’s bottom line would not have been unduly affected.
In my opinion, one of the best outcomes would be for the agency’s outstanding files to be transferred to another international adoption agency to handle. But that is much easier said than done, particularly as the transfer of files would have to be accompanied by a transfer of financial resources, of which there are apparently not enough.
On a more personal level, I can only compare what families must be experiencing to when I almost lost Mustang – before I even got her. It was December 2004; I had received the preliminary approval from China and was starting to relax. Children’s Bridge (CB) said the final approval usually followed within a few weeks. Then China wanted clarification as to my health status. Not to worry, CB said, this was not uncommon and should be easily resolved via another letter from my doctor. But I was uneasy, and with good cause: a few days later China came back with a negative response. They were not going to approve me – though if I could get political support they might change their minds.
This was a week before Christmas. It was hell. I felt like I was dealing with a death in the family – or on the verge of a death. For the next two weeks I prayed like never before, and put all my efforts into contacting my MP, getting letters of support from everyone I could think of in a position of influence, whether political or not. Not easy when offices everywhere were closing down over the Christmas break. What really made the difference, to my mind, was that we had two old family friends who were sitting Members of Parliament at the time and who both agreed to write letters of support for me, as did my own MP. In the end I had about twelve support letters, ranging from the three MPs to my cousin, herself adopted from China, who wanted to help out. And it paid off. The Chinese government relented and agreed to let me adopt Mustang. Two months later I was in China to pick her up. (And the rest is history…!)
So, God can accomplish mighty things. Let us hope and pray that He will respond and see that the efforts of affected families bear fruit, that children are united with parents, and that new families are formed – even those still at the beginning stages of the process.
An on-line petition is “circulating” (or whatever things do on-line) to ask the government(s) to step in and assist families affected by the bankruptcy to complete their adoptions. Apparently, the government is promising to help for families who have received referrals, to complete the court process for those still waiting for court, and to speedily process immigration visas or citizenship for those whose children are already legally theirs (see this article). However, that still leaves in limbo anywhere up to 300 families who were at the beginning of the wait, either waiting for a referral or with files still awaiting approval by the Ontario Ministry. The petition asks the government to “facilitate and complete ALL of Imagine Adoption’s active files affected by this bankruptcy filing” (emphasis added). If you are at all interested in signing the petition, you can access it here.
A family in Addis reports that a lawyer from BDO, the Canadian agency handling the bankruptcy investigation (from a bookkeeping and money point of view), met in Addis with the families who have gone there to claim their children. He reported that an anonymous corporate donor has stepped in and promised funding to support the Transition House (the facility where the children live in Ethiopia while waiting to be referred to their new parents and while the adoption process is completed) until all children waiting for court or for visas are united with their parents. This is excellent news; some people had started fundraising to support the TH, but that is no longer necessary. The family reports that children who have not yet been referred are being sent back to their orphanages of origin, and the baby house has been shut down to save on costs (I think that refers to the second house at a different location – presumably all babies there would have been taken to the TH is Addis if already referred). Additionally, the lawyer met with the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi, which has promised to rush through the visas for the children at that stage of the process.
This particular family was fortunate to have successfully completed the court process just days before the bankruptcy (after an extremely lengthy process – about 9 months from referral to successful court – not sure what the issues were, but that’s far far longer than the usual 1-3 months). The mother has gone to Ethiopia to claim the children and look after them until they receive their visas. They are hoping it will be relatively quick, what with extra effort on the part of Nairobi to process these visas, although they need first to obtain the final court documents and get their daughters’ Ethiopian passports to send to Nairobi, which could take a few weeks. The father has remained at home, so he missed the initial meeting with their twin girls, but is getting regular reports. He plans to go to Ethiopia after the August long weekend to spend time with his wife and daughters. They hope the visas will arrive while he is there so they can all return as a family of four. If not, he will return while his wife and daughters stay there to wait out the immigration process.
Another family I know (single Mom) has gone to Ethiopia to check things out. Her daughter’s case was to go to court on the Wednesday after the bankruptcy; she did not know if that would still happen or how she might find out, as Imagine’s Canadian offices are now closed. So she left on Friday to spend one week there to assess the situation, find out if court was successful, determine how her daughter will be cared for during the next few months of the process, and generally try to find some clarity in this mess.
Meanwhile, the families here in Canada affected by this bankruptcy have started united blog called the United Families of Imagine Adoption to stay informed and elicit support (emotional and “active”). I expect that, as the majority of the families were still at the early stages of the process, they may focus their efforts on trying to find a solution for the families who were still waiting for referral, as the other families have already been sort of taken care of, or at least have already had support promised as well as extra government action. It’s the families waiting for referral who stand to lose everything.
Random thoughts on the situation
One of the things about this that I find hardest to swallow is that this agency billed itself as a Christian adoption agency. To my mind, an agency or business that plays the Christian card had better make sure that its actions live up to its words. It should have exemplary behaviour as a business (and on the part of the staff) and if business failure is looming, the owners or directors should do everything possible to avoid it.
I have no knowledge of the details of why this bankruptcy occurred. I just know that there are many other Canadian adoption agencies, and none of them has gone bankrupt despite challenging times in international adoption. Mayhap there were other factors. Yet the rumours abound about unethical, even criminal behaviour on the part of the owners of Imagine (and certainly there are a few things on the balance sheet filed by the bankruptcy trustees that do not look so good), as well as unethical behaviour (from a Christian standpoint at least) in their private lives.
Apparently the agency’s license was renewed in October. One wonders how things could have changed so drastically in the last nine months. Yes, yes, the world economy has gone into a tailspin in that same period, and thousands of workers even here in Canada have lost jobs. But the adoption agency has received fees from prospective parents, and I can’t see that costs in Canada at least would have risen so drastically (though I do hear, via completely unrelated sources, that costs in Ethiopia of basic commodities have been increasing at alarming rates – but if that were the sole cause I would think the agency would have been able to justifiably increase rates so as to cover costs), so one would think that the agency’s bottom line would not have been unduly affected.
In my opinion, one of the best outcomes would be for the agency’s outstanding files to be transferred to another international adoption agency to handle. But that is much easier said than done, particularly as the transfer of files would have to be accompanied by a transfer of financial resources, of which there are apparently not enough.
On a more personal level, I can only compare what families must be experiencing to when I almost lost Mustang – before I even got her. It was December 2004; I had received the preliminary approval from China and was starting to relax. Children’s Bridge (CB) said the final approval usually followed within a few weeks. Then China wanted clarification as to my health status. Not to worry, CB said, this was not uncommon and should be easily resolved via another letter from my doctor. But I was uneasy, and with good cause: a few days later China came back with a negative response. They were not going to approve me – though if I could get political support they might change their minds.
This was a week before Christmas. It was hell. I felt like I was dealing with a death in the family – or on the verge of a death. For the next two weeks I prayed like never before, and put all my efforts into contacting my MP, getting letters of support from everyone I could think of in a position of influence, whether political or not. Not easy when offices everywhere were closing down over the Christmas break. What really made the difference, to my mind, was that we had two old family friends who were sitting Members of Parliament at the time and who both agreed to write letters of support for me, as did my own MP. In the end I had about twelve support letters, ranging from the three MPs to my cousin, herself adopted from China, who wanted to help out. And it paid off. The Chinese government relented and agreed to let me adopt Mustang. Two months later I was in China to pick her up. (And the rest is history…!)
So, God can accomplish mighty things. Let us hope and pray that He will respond and see that the efforts of affected families bear fruit, that children are united with parents, and that new families are formed – even those still at the beginning stages of the process.
14 July 2009
Shock in the Canadian international adoption world
Imagine Adoption, the agency I used to adopt Button (then known as Kids Link) filed for bankruptcy yesterday, amidst speculation and rumours of fraud and embezzlement. Around 500 families are in limbo. Many of those who have successfully gone through the court process (making the children referred to them legally theirs) have gone or are going to Ethiopia to take custody of their children and handle the immigration paperwork themselves. The other families - those who have received a referral but were still waiting to pass through the Ethiopian court system, and those still waiting for a referral - are not so fortunate. Those with referrals have no idea what will happen to their children. Those still waiting for a referral have no idea whether they will get any of their money back (as much as $15,000 paid to the agency - supposedly "in trust" - for necessary expenses) or what will happen with their dream of becoming parents via international adoption. Programs for adoption from Ethiopia, Ghana, Haiti, and Ecuador are all affected, with the former having the largest number of prospective parents.
Another Ontario agency, Children's Bridge (which has its own Ethiopia adoption program, run in partnership with CAFAC out of Winnipeg). has reportedly requested a meeting with the Ontario Ministry of Community and Youth Services. The intent of the meeting is not known (to me) - whether to advocate for the families, to discuss possibilities of taking over Imagine's operations or case files, to advocate for international adoption in general...
Please pray for all the famlies that are affected, for the children in Ethiopia whose care is in jeopardy (lack of money for operations), for the Ethiopian staff who are responsible for their care, and for the Canadian staff who are affected by something they may have had no control over or part in or knowledge of until it hit them too.
Today's edition of the Globe and Mail has a short article about the bankruptcy.
We would all like answers and more information about what has really happened. Unfortunately, that my take months, if not years, to uncover.
Another Ontario agency, Children's Bridge (which has its own Ethiopia adoption program, run in partnership with CAFAC out of Winnipeg). has reportedly requested a meeting with the Ontario Ministry of Community and Youth Services. The intent of the meeting is not known (to me) - whether to advocate for the families, to discuss possibilities of taking over Imagine's operations or case files, to advocate for international adoption in general...
Please pray for all the famlies that are affected, for the children in Ethiopia whose care is in jeopardy (lack of money for operations), for the Ethiopian staff who are responsible for their care, and for the Canadian staff who are affected by something they may have had no control over or part in or knowledge of until it hit them too.
Today's edition of the Globe and Mail has a short article about the bankruptcy.
We would all like answers and more information about what has really happened. Unfortunately, that my take months, if not years, to uncover.
14 March 2009
Mustang's fourth Family Day
Can it be four years already? It was a cloudy Monday in Taiyuan, China, when the active and spunky little girl known here as Mustang was brought to a plain bureaucratic room to be introduced to her new Mommy, Laolao and Laoye. She was curious, uncertain, wary – and pleased with the little pink bunny Laolao brought for her. (Her love of stuffies continues to this day!) She cried, twice, but not for long. She would often run and hide, but never where we couldn’t find her – it was a game. She was wearing a bright red, satiny padded jacket and pants (now stored for safekeeping, along with bunny, in a bin in the basement) which we promptly traded for “western” wear when we got back to our hotel. (She didn’t mind the trade.)
Since then:
Since then:
- She has had palate surgery to close her cleft palate, and in the coming months will begin to be prepared for the next surgery on her jawline, beginning with some dental work and wearing a space to straighten and space out some of the adult teeth.
- She has learned English well – including proper articulation of the consonant sounds – and now boasts a very good vocabulary.
- She has completed almost four years of schooling, learning to read and do basic math.
- She has learned to skate, ski, ride bicycle, swim, roller blade, draw, colour, and more!!
- She has entered my heart and made herself a place there, never to go away.
Happy Family Day, Mustang!
16 January 2009
One year ago today...
... we arrived in Canada after a long trip home from Ethiopia. Button was not impressed with the cold - he didn't want to leave the warmth of our friend's van (in which he had fallen asleep during the 2-hour drive from the airport) to enter the frigid January air, even just for a rush into the warm house. So Laoye carried him in, and we pretty much fell into bed (it was about 8 pm local time, 2 am Ethiopian time!). The next morning, though at first saying it couldn't be possible to go outside (or at least communicating it without words!), after seeing Mustang get all bundled up in her snowsuit, boots, mitts and hat, he was happy to do the same and go have fun outside. Hasn't looked back since!!
01 January 2009
Happy New Year! - And an Ethiopia retrospective
Last night we stayed up late watching movies, with special late-night movie-watching treats (popcorn, cheesies, chips, etc). We started at about 7:00 pm and watched two Pooh Bear movies the kids picked, then one called Far From Home - a Canadian movie about a boy, his father, and their newly adopted dog whose boat capsizes off the BC coast in some rough seas. The father is rescued but the boy and his dog are washed up on shore and have to survive several weeks before being found. That took us to 10:00 pm and when both kids said they didn't want to go to bed yet we watched one more short kids' movie. At 10:30 we all went to bed and even Mustang fell asleep in about five minutes. Maybe in a few years they'll make it to midnight!
As noted yesterday, it was Button’s Family Day. Some of you faithful readers may remember that way back last year, in Ethiopia, and after our return to Canada, I promised to add pictures to my Ethiopia adoption travel blog posts eventually. I am happy to report that "eventually" has arrived. It only took a year. How about that.
To go back over my travel blog posts and see the beautiful pictures, all you need to do is to follow the links below. (Each post also has a link to the next post, in sequence, so you can just go from one to the next if you wish, rather than returning to this page. But if you want to jump to a particular post, they’re all here.)
2007
14–16 Dec: Hello from Addis Ababa!
17 Dec: Bahir Dar – Blue Nile Falls
18 Dec: Bahir Dar – Lake Tana
19 Dec: Gondar
20 Dec: Lalibela – churches galore
21 Dec: Lalibela – A relaxing day
22 Dec: Back to Addis (sorry, no pix with this one)
23 Dec: Christmas Party in Addis
24 Dec: A little boy on Christmas Eve (lots of pictures with this one!)
25 Dec: Unto the least of these
26 Dec: Awassa
27 Dec: A hot and dusty, rattly day
28 Dec: Arba Minch – A good day after all
29 Dec: Wondo Genet – A hilltop paradise
30 Dec: Back to Addis again
31 Dec: Family Day!!!
2008
1 Jan: A new year for a new family
2 Jan: Swimming in January
3 Jan: Transit Visa
4 Jan: Around and about Addis (**new)
5 Jan: Meserete Kristos College
6 Jan: Meserete Kristos Church
7 Jan: Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday - A challenging day
8 Jan: Museum Day 1
9 Jan: Museum Day 2
10 Jan: Orphanage (**new)
11 – 15 Jan: The last few days (**new)
16 Jan (and beyond): Home!!!
As noted yesterday, it was Button’s Family Day. Some of you faithful readers may remember that way back last year, in Ethiopia, and after our return to Canada, I promised to add pictures to my Ethiopia adoption travel blog posts eventually. I am happy to report that "eventually" has arrived. It only took a year. How about that.
To go back over my travel blog posts and see the beautiful pictures, all you need to do is to follow the links below. (Each post also has a link to the next post, in sequence, so you can just go from one to the next if you wish, rather than returning to this page. But if you want to jump to a particular post, they’re all here.)
2007
14–16 Dec: Hello from Addis Ababa!
17 Dec: Bahir Dar – Blue Nile Falls
18 Dec: Bahir Dar – Lake Tana
19 Dec: Gondar
20 Dec: Lalibela – churches galore
21 Dec: Lalibela – A relaxing day
22 Dec: Back to Addis (sorry, no pix with this one)
23 Dec: Christmas Party in Addis
24 Dec: A little boy on Christmas Eve (lots of pictures with this one!)
25 Dec: Unto the least of these
26 Dec: Awassa
27 Dec: A hot and dusty, rattly day
28 Dec: Arba Minch – A good day after all
29 Dec: Wondo Genet – A hilltop paradise
30 Dec: Back to Addis again
31 Dec: Family Day!!!
2008
1 Jan: A new year for a new family
2 Jan: Swimming in January
3 Jan: Transit Visa
4 Jan: Around and about Addis (**new)
5 Jan: Meserete Kristos College
6 Jan: Meserete Kristos Church
7 Jan: Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday - A challenging day
8 Jan: Museum Day 1
9 Jan: Museum Day 2
10 Jan: Orphanage (**new)
11 – 15 Jan: The last few days (**new)
16 Jan (and beyond): Home!!!
Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday - A challenging day
Monday, 7 January 2008
We started off the day by having the kids check out their Christmas stockings we'd set out the night before, in honour of Ethiopian Christmas. Not that Ethiopians do stockings, but I'd promised Giggles three Christmases this year (before leaving home, western Christmas, and Ethiopian Christmas). Plus I'd wanted to have some sort of a Christmas celebration with Poppet, not that he knows what it's all about yet. Anyhow, I'd brought along a few little gifts for the kids, and Laolao had picked up a small bubble-blowing kit for each child the day before, as well as a few balloons.
Giggles, of course, knew what was up, and pulled Poppet into the living room to open his bag. Poppet was quite taken with his elephant stuffy and the bubble-maker, and especially the balloon. He also seemed interested in the music CD I'd brought along to give him, perhaps taking it for a computer CD. But one of the best prezzies was a little bag, meant perhaps to be a lunch bag, that Giggles had bought at home to be her Christmas present to him. It is special because it has become his little treasure box, where he puts all his own prized possessions. He very carefully tucked elephant into it, as well as a few other little things he's collected, and stashed it in the closet. (He's since accessed it many times to take things out for playing, but is generally careful to put them back in once he's done.)
Right after breakfast, the kids went out back to see the sheep, now headless, before the slaughter was complete.
Despite it's being Christmas (again), Giggles still had schoolwork to do, so she and I spent the morning slogging while Poppet went out with Laolao and Laoye. They came back to report that many of the stores were open, whereas we'd been told that most things would be closed for the holiday. The small shops were all closed, but the larger stores were open, including the pastry shop where we'd taken care to purchase our cake the day before, to be sure to have one. The maid even showed up, though she left early. We gave her a Christmas present of 50 birr.
Lunch was simple, but topped off with a birthday cake (inscribed "Merry Christmas"!) and a candle, for my birthday. (Not sure what Poppet made of the fact that it was clearly me the Happy Birthday song was sung for, but he and Giggles who got the presents in the morning - whether he even associates presents with birthdays...)
We had a fairly lazy afternoon. The kids played with their bubble-makers, their balloons, and the ball. We took a stroll down the road and stopped for our usual ice cream.
All in all, it was a fairly relaxing day, except that Poppet had some trying times. It actually started last night. The kids had been watching some television before brushing teeth and going to bed. Then, for some reason, Poppet started crying, refusing to go to bed and not wanting me to sit with him. (Bedtime has so far been the one time he's most open to receiving and giving affection with me.) With little language, he couldn't explain what was bothering him and we couldn't figure it out. I ended up calling Laoye in, hoping that might help as he usually responds to Laoye, but it made little difference. We finally got him settled, after at least half an hour. I really have no idea what triggered it, except perhaps that he's starting to get over the novelty of everything and missing his caregivers and friends.
Today, then, he had several periods of sulking and tears. One came when his balloon popped. He had been playing with Laoye on the porch when it popped, and Laoye sat down and pretended to cry. That set him off. (Ooops.) A couple more times during the day, when he didn't get what he wanted, he would go off to cry or sulk. In the afternoon, when we went off for ice cream, at first he didn't want to go, so Laolao and Giggles and I set off, leaving him with Laoye. After a second short crying jag, Laoye got fed up and told him to stop - and he did. At which point they came and joined us at the ice cream shop.
In the meantime, Giggles has been experiencing some jealousy over sharing me. She wants special time with Mommy, time just for her and Mommy. (Of course, the fact that she spends half the day just with Mommy doing schoolwork doesn't seem to factor into her equation!) We'd talked beforehand about the need to share Mommy, but the reality of it is not easy. At least not today.
It's hard knowing how to handle some of this. I want to comfort Poppet, but he resists comfort - from me or from anyone else, when he's sulking. I wish I knew how much was sulking at not getting his own way, and how much of the tears are from loneliness or missing friends. One wants to give him a bit of leeway, as his whole world has been turned upside down, but at the same time one can't give in to every whim or want. Especially with another child in the picture, some sort of "fairness" must be maintained We can explain to Giggles, but she is still a child, too, and her world has also changed, though not as drastically. At times she is generous and willing to share and give him extra things, or let him have what he wants. (At those times I tell her she is being a good big sister.) Other times she just wishes him gone.
It has also been a time for Giggles to reflect on how it was when we went to China to adopt her. She remembers little of that, but she has asked a couple of times "Did I do that?" or "What did you do when...?" and I've been able to relay some of her story back to her and relate it to how Poppet is now behaving. Sometimes it helps her to behave generously and with compassion, but it's easy for her to forget, too.
And so we continue.
We started off the day by having the kids check out their Christmas stockings we'd set out the night before, in honour of Ethiopian Christmas. Not that Ethiopians do stockings, but I'd promised Giggles three Christmases this year (before leaving home, western Christmas, and Ethiopian Christmas). Plus I'd wanted to have some sort of a Christmas celebration with Poppet, not that he knows what it's all about yet. Anyhow, I'd brought along a few little gifts for the kids, and Laolao had picked up a small bubble-blowing kit for each child the day before, as well as a few balloons.
Giggles, of course, knew what was up, and pulled Poppet into the living room to open his bag. Poppet was quite taken with his elephant stuffy and the bubble-maker, and especially the balloon. He also seemed interested in the music CD I'd brought along to give him, perhaps taking it for a computer CD. But one of the best prezzies was a little bag, meant perhaps to be a lunch bag, that Giggles had bought at home to be her Christmas present to him. It is special because it has become his little treasure box, where he puts all his own prized possessions. He very carefully tucked elephant into it, as well as a few other little things he's collected, and stashed it in the closet. (He's since accessed it many times to take things out for playing, but is generally careful to put them back in once he's done.)
Right after breakfast, the kids went out back to see the sheep, now headless, before the slaughter was complete.
Despite it's being Christmas (again), Giggles still had schoolwork to do, so she and I spent the morning slogging while Poppet went out with Laolao and Laoye. They came back to report that many of the stores were open, whereas we'd been told that most things would be closed for the holiday. The small shops were all closed, but the larger stores were open, including the pastry shop where we'd taken care to purchase our cake the day before, to be sure to have one. The maid even showed up, though she left early. We gave her a Christmas present of 50 birr.
Lunch was simple, but topped off with a birthday cake (inscribed "Merry Christmas"!) and a candle, for my birthday. (Not sure what Poppet made of the fact that it was clearly me the Happy Birthday song was sung for, but he and Giggles who got the presents in the morning - whether he even associates presents with birthdays...)
We had a fairly lazy afternoon. The kids played with their bubble-makers, their balloons, and the ball. We took a stroll down the road and stopped for our usual ice cream.
All in all, it was a fairly relaxing day, except that Poppet had some trying times. It actually started last night. The kids had been watching some television before brushing teeth and going to bed. Then, for some reason, Poppet started crying, refusing to go to bed and not wanting me to sit with him. (Bedtime has so far been the one time he's most open to receiving and giving affection with me.) With little language, he couldn't explain what was bothering him and we couldn't figure it out. I ended up calling Laoye in, hoping that might help as he usually responds to Laoye, but it made little difference. We finally got him settled, after at least half an hour. I really have no idea what triggered it, except perhaps that he's starting to get over the novelty of everything and missing his caregivers and friends.
Today, then, he had several periods of sulking and tears. One came when his balloon popped. He had been playing with Laoye on the porch when it popped, and Laoye sat down and pretended to cry. That set him off. (Ooops.) A couple more times during the day, when he didn't get what he wanted, he would go off to cry or sulk. In the afternoon, when we went off for ice cream, at first he didn't want to go, so Laolao and Giggles and I set off, leaving him with Laoye. After a second short crying jag, Laoye got fed up and told him to stop - and he did. At which point they came and joined us at the ice cream shop.
In the meantime, Giggles has been experiencing some jealousy over sharing me. She wants special time with Mommy, time just for her and Mommy. (Of course, the fact that she spends half the day just with Mommy doing schoolwork doesn't seem to factor into her equation!) We'd talked beforehand about the need to share Mommy, but the reality of it is not easy. At least not today.
It's hard knowing how to handle some of this. I want to comfort Poppet, but he resists comfort - from me or from anyone else, when he's sulking. I wish I knew how much was sulking at not getting his own way, and how much of the tears are from loneliness or missing friends. One wants to give him a bit of leeway, as his whole world has been turned upside down, but at the same time one can't give in to every whim or want. Especially with another child in the picture, some sort of "fairness" must be maintained We can explain to Giggles, but she is still a child, too, and her world has also changed, though not as drastically. At times she is generous and willing to share and give him extra things, or let him have what he wants. (At those times I tell her she is being a good big sister.) Other times she just wishes him gone.
It has also been a time for Giggles to reflect on how it was when we went to China to adopt her. She remembers little of that, but she has asked a couple of times "Did I do that?" or "What did you do when...?" and I've been able to relay some of her story back to her and relate it to how Poppet is now behaving. Sometimes it helps her to behave generously and with compassion, but it's easy for her to forget, too.
And so we continue.
Museum Day 1
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
This morning was the usual - breakfast, a bit of play time, then schoolwork with Giggles. Poppet sat with us for a bit, drawing, until he started being too much of a distraction. So Laolao and Laoye took him off for a walk and some shopping.
We figured that it was high time we visited some of the museums and sights of Addis, beyond just the few blocks around our house. So Giggles worked hard to get everything done by shortly after noon, then we ate a quick lunch and headed off.
The taxi driver we found didn’t know where the National Museum was. Thankfully, Laoye had figured it out and was following along on the map in the guide book. So when the fellow stopped at the Addis Ababa museum, we said no and directed him to the correct place. (According to the book, the Addis Ababa museum is the scruffiest of all and mostly filled with portraits of important historical figures. We figured we could pass on it.)
The National Museum ended up being worth a visit, but easily accomplished in an hour or two. It is located in a four-storey building, but each level is small with not much to see. The lowest level is the one people will be most interested in, and the one with the most interesting exhibits. This documents the paleontological discoveries in Ethiopia, including that of Lucy (here known as Dinkanesh), the first and earliest humanoid, found in the Afar region in northeastern Ethiopia. It contains other fossils and bones, too, making for a relatively interesting display.
As Laolao and Laoye were interested in reading the information (presented in both Amharic and English), I herded the kids. They zoomed through the bottom floor, exclaiming over some of the skeletons and pictures, but were quickly done with it and up to the main floor. All I recall of that floor is that it featured a four-sided TV/video screen showing a short film on the evolution of humans and highlighting Africa as the birthplace of humankind. That held the kids’ attention for a while. Then it was up to the second floor, home to many paintings depicting religious and historical scenes; and the third floor, an interesting one, with displays of tools and clothing from traditional Ethiopian life. All in all, we spent a little over an hour in the museum, and Laolao and Laoye managed to read most of the displays in that time.
Seeing as the afternoon was yet young, we decided we’d hit another museum. The Ethnological Museum was about a kilometre up King George VI street, so we walked. It is located on the grounds of Addis Ababa University, within the Institute of Ethnological Studies.
This museum is definitely worth a visit. Its displays are much more extensive than those of the National Museum, and if one has the time and inclination to read all the information, one would come away with a fairly good understanding of traditional life among some of the many ethnic groups that comprise modern Ethiopia. The information is laid out according to the life stages, beginning with childhood, progressing through various aspects of adulthood (such as marriage, religion, traditional medicines, housing, and so on), and ending with death (funeral practices, grave markers and beliefs related to death and what happens after death).
We had about two hours at the museum and saw perhaps half, if that. Here, I was quite interested in the displays, so Laolao and Laoye shared kid duty. Giggles was interested in some of the information, so we all took turns reading to her from various panels, until she got bored.
The museum closed at five, so we caught a taxi home. Poppet fell asleep on the way home. We had wanted to try out Aladdin’s, one of the restaurants at the end of our road that had been recommended to us, so we had the taxi drop us off there. It turned out that Aladdin’s didn’t open until 7:00 and there was no way the kids were going to last until then - Giggles was hungry! - so we found a different restaurant right next door and ate there.
After eating, I left with the kids while Laolao and Laoye settled the bill. Walking in the dark, Poppet was quite happy to hold Mommy’s hand, though he’s refused it otherwise when we’re out walking. Once home, it was the usual bedtime routine. And that was Tuesday!
(Continue to 9 January: Museum Day 2)
This morning was the usual - breakfast, a bit of play time, then schoolwork with Giggles. Poppet sat with us for a bit, drawing, until he started being too much of a distraction. So Laolao and Laoye took him off for a walk and some shopping.
We figured that it was high time we visited some of the museums and sights of Addis, beyond just the few blocks around our house. So Giggles worked hard to get everything done by shortly after noon, then we ate a quick lunch and headed off.
The taxi driver we found didn’t know where the National Museum was. Thankfully, Laoye had figured it out and was following along on the map in the guide book. So when the fellow stopped at the Addis Ababa museum, we said no and directed him to the correct place. (According to the book, the Addis Ababa museum is the scruffiest of all and mostly filled with portraits of important historical figures. We figured we could pass on it.)
The National Museum ended up being worth a visit, but easily accomplished in an hour or two. It is located in a four-storey building, but each level is small with not much to see. The lowest level is the one people will be most interested in, and the one with the most interesting exhibits. This documents the paleontological discoveries in Ethiopia, including that of Lucy (here known as Dinkanesh), the first and earliest humanoid, found in the Afar region in northeastern Ethiopia. It contains other fossils and bones, too, making for a relatively interesting display.
As Laolao and Laoye were interested in reading the information (presented in both Amharic and English), I herded the kids. They zoomed through the bottom floor, exclaiming over some of the skeletons and pictures, but were quickly done with it and up to the main floor. All I recall of that floor is that it featured a four-sided TV/video screen showing a short film on the evolution of humans and highlighting Africa as the birthplace of humankind. That held the kids’ attention for a while. Then it was up to the second floor, home to many paintings depicting religious and historical scenes; and the third floor, an interesting one, with displays of tools and clothing from traditional Ethiopian life. All in all, we spent a little over an hour in the museum, and Laolao and Laoye managed to read most of the displays in that time.
Seeing as the afternoon was yet young, we decided we’d hit another museum. The Ethnological Museum was about a kilometre up King George VI street, so we walked. It is located on the grounds of Addis Ababa University, within the Institute of Ethnological Studies.
This museum is definitely worth a visit. Its displays are much more extensive than those of the National Museum, and if one has the time and inclination to read all the information, one would come away with a fairly good understanding of traditional life among some of the many ethnic groups that comprise modern Ethiopia. The information is laid out according to the life stages, beginning with childhood, progressing through various aspects of adulthood (such as marriage, religion, traditional medicines, housing, and so on), and ending with death (funeral practices, grave markers and beliefs related to death and what happens after death).
We had about two hours at the museum and saw perhaps half, if that. Here, I was quite interested in the displays, so Laolao and Laoye shared kid duty. Giggles was interested in some of the information, so we all took turns reading to her from various panels, until she got bored.
The museum closed at five, so we caught a taxi home. Poppet fell asleep on the way home. We had wanted to try out Aladdin’s, one of the restaurants at the end of our road that had been recommended to us, so we had the taxi drop us off there. It turned out that Aladdin’s didn’t open until 7:00 and there was no way the kids were going to last until then - Giggles was hungry! - so we found a different restaurant right next door and ate there.
After eating, I left with the kids while Laolao and Laoye settled the bill. Walking in the dark, Poppet was quite happy to hold Mommy’s hand, though he’s refused it otherwise when we’re out walking. Once home, it was the usual bedtime routine. And that was Tuesday!
(Continue to 9 January: Museum Day 2)
Museum Day 2
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Today was very similar to yesterday. Schoolwork in the morning, museum in the afternoon.
We’d thought last week that we might head out to visit the orphanage yesterday or today, but it turned out that several families have court dates tomorrow and Germatchew, the KL driver, was busy collecting birth families to ensure they would show up. This was an indication to us of how much effort goes into ensuring the success of the court hearings the first time around. Germatchew popped in to tell us this himself (he lives close by, apparently). He said that, since it is the Christmas season (and despite this not appearing to be a big deal, at least not here in Addis), some of the families he needed to find might not be at home. Most of the birth families live in or near Adama (also known as Nazaret), a 100 km drive SE of Addis. Germatchew said some of them might be visiting relatives in Debre Zeit or other places, and if he could find out where they were and it was not too far away, he would go to those places to track them down and bring them to Addis. (So all you KL families, rest assured that everything possible is being done to see that you get through court successfully the first time!)
So we weren’t expecting to get to visit the orphanage or Poppet’s birth family today or tomorrow, but I called Solomon to discuss our options, and he worked it out that they will hire a van and driver and take us and another family out tomorrow.
Today, then, we were on our own again, which is fine. We’re used to getting around and doing things that way! After lunch we hopped a cab to the Natural History Museum. This one, while small, is well worth a visit, especially if you have children over about four years of age who like animals. Giggles most certainly does, so she was very interested in visiting this museum. She even asked in advance if Laolao could read some of the information to her while I watched Poppet.
The displays begin with some information about natural history, the importance of observing and documenting wildlife, and the various types of habitats in Ethiopia. From there, you move into several rooms filled with stuffed and preserved creatures. Many amphibians and small reptiles are preserved in jars of formaldehyde, while other creatures are represented by skins hanging on walls. But the fourth room from the beginning has several impressive, if small, dioramas, displaying a variety of animals in their natural habitats. Many of the species on display are endemic to Ethiopia - i.e., they are not found anywhere else in Africa or in the world. Past the dioramas is a hallway with a stuffed leopard, a lion skin, and the mounted heads of a variety of deer and antelope. Off to the other side of the hall is the bird display. This features one diorama-type display and six or so glass cases with mounted birds. Over 400 birds are on display, about half the 800+ species found in the country.
We spent about an hour and a half at the museum and got a fairly good view of all the displays. As we went through, a museum curator followed us and responded to questions. He was obviously very knowledgeable about Ethiopian animals and the specimens in the collection. He identified the v-tailed bird we frequently see in the skies as the black kite.
(I’d recommend, to anyone interested in doing museums, to combine the National Museum and the Natural History Museum in one half-day excursion, and to give a half-day or even a full day to the Ethnological Museum on its own.)
We were done by 3:00 and decided to stroll down King George VI back in the direction we’d come from, just to pass the time and see some sights, perhaps stopping for tea or ice cream at a suitable establishment. So off we went.
Today was very similar to yesterday. Schoolwork in the morning, museum in the afternoon.
We’d thought last week that we might head out to visit the orphanage yesterday or today, but it turned out that several families have court dates tomorrow and Germatchew, the KL driver, was busy collecting birth families to ensure they would show up. This was an indication to us of how much effort goes into ensuring the success of the court hearings the first time around. Germatchew popped in to tell us this himself (he lives close by, apparently). He said that, since it is the Christmas season (and despite this not appearing to be a big deal, at least not here in Addis), some of the families he needed to find might not be at home. Most of the birth families live in or near Adama (also known as Nazaret), a 100 km drive SE of Addis. Germatchew said some of them might be visiting relatives in Debre Zeit or other places, and if he could find out where they were and it was not too far away, he would go to those places to track them down and bring them to Addis. (So all you KL families, rest assured that everything possible is being done to see that you get through court successfully the first time!)
So we weren’t expecting to get to visit the orphanage or Poppet’s birth family today or tomorrow, but I called Solomon to discuss our options, and he worked it out that they will hire a van and driver and take us and another family out tomorrow.
Today, then, we were on our own again, which is fine. We’re used to getting around and doing things that way! After lunch we hopped a cab to the Natural History Museum. This one, while small, is well worth a visit, especially if you have children over about four years of age who like animals. Giggles most certainly does, so she was very interested in visiting this museum. She even asked in advance if Laolao could read some of the information to her while I watched Poppet.
The displays begin with some information about natural history, the importance of observing and documenting wildlife, and the various types of habitats in Ethiopia. From there, you move into several rooms filled with stuffed and preserved creatures. Many amphibians and small reptiles are preserved in jars of formaldehyde, while other creatures are represented by skins hanging on walls. But the fourth room from the beginning has several impressive, if small, dioramas, displaying a variety of animals in their natural habitats. Many of the species on display are endemic to Ethiopia - i.e., they are not found anywhere else in Africa or in the world. Past the dioramas is a hallway with a stuffed leopard, a lion skin, and the mounted heads of a variety of deer and antelope. Off to the other side of the hall is the bird display. This features one diorama-type display and six or so glass cases with mounted birds. Over 400 birds are on display, about half the 800+ species found in the country.
We spent about an hour and a half at the museum and got a fairly good view of all the displays. As we went through, a museum curator followed us and responded to questions. He was obviously very knowledgeable about Ethiopian animals and the specimens in the collection. He identified the v-tailed bird we frequently see in the skies as the black kite.
(I’d recommend, to anyone interested in doing museums, to combine the National Museum and the Natural History Museum in one half-day excursion, and to give a half-day or even a full day to the Ethnological Museum on its own.)
We were done by 3:00 and decided to stroll down King George VI back in the direction we’d come from, just to pass the time and see some sights, perhaps stopping for tea or ice cream at a suitable establishment. So off we went.
This section of town had some small shops lining some of the streets, but other sections of road were devoid of such establishments. We kept on going, turning on Menelik II Avenue when we reached it, and heading down towards Meskel Square. By the time we got to the square we were tired and no eateries seemed to be in the vicintiy, so we found a taxi to take us to our favourite haunt on Bole Road close to home.
After ice cream, Laolao and Giggles went to buy some eggs at Fantu’s, while Laoye and Poppet and I headed home. As usual, Poppet refused to hold my hand, so I decided to force the issue and made him. He was not at all happy about that and cried most of the way home. Once home, seeing as he had yet to stop crying, I took him into the bedroom and shut the door. I figured he needs to understand that (a) I am not poisonous and touching me will not hurt him and (b) Mommy is the most important grown-up in his life, not Laoye or even Laolao. It took a while, and some even more vigourous crying, but in the end we seemed to have reached some sort of an understanding. It remains to be seen how it will weather over the coming days. When we emerged from the bedroom the rest of the family had about finished eating supper and discreetly disappeared for an evening walk, so he had to deal with me some more. At first he refused to come eat, but when I gave him some “decision room” he did come, though he ate sparingly.
After supper I was going to read stories to him, but he indicated that he wanted to play on the computer, which I was willing to do. He was quite content to sit on my lap and explore some of the CDs I brought along. He started to cry again when the computer was turned off, but just then the others returned, providing some distraction, and he went off to bed willingly enough with Giggles.
It is starting to feel like high time we got home to Canada and into our normal routines. While being at the house here is comfortable and almost like home, it is not quite normal (for one thing, at home I won’t be sitting with Giggles half the day doing schoolwork). Once we wake up tomorrow, we will have only five more sleeps to go. Then comes a long trip, after which the real adjustment can begin.
(Continue to 10 January: Orphanage)
Orphanage
Thursday 11 January
This was a day full of emotions; a day I'd been anticipating for some time. We were going to visit the orphanage where Poppet had spent the first four years of his life and meet his birthmother.
This involved a drive out to Nazaret (Adama), about two hours down the main highway towards Djibouti. We piled into the van with Solomon, Germatchew, Meseret (the head nurse) and another couple who had just picked up their baby girl.
The drive was long and slow, as usual, but we finally arrived in Adama. First we stopped along the side of the road where Solomon got out and spoke to some people waiting there. They were birthfamily contacts of the other adoptive family. They got out and went with Solomon while we continued on with Meseret.
This was a day full of emotions; a day I'd been anticipating for some time. We were going to visit the orphanage where Poppet had spent the first four years of his life and meet his birthmother.
This involved a drive out to Nazaret (Adama), about two hours down the main highway towards Djibouti. We piled into the van with Solomon, Germatchew, Meseret (the head nurse) and another couple who had just picked up their baby girl.
The drive was long and slow, as usual, but we finally arrived in Adama. First we stopped along the side of the road where Solomon got out and spoke to some people waiting there. They were birthfamily contacts of the other adoptive family. They got out and went with Solomon while we continued on with Meseret.
We drove directly to the orphanage school grounds, where the workers called two young boys out of class. These were Poppet's brothers, 5 and 9 years old. The five-year-old looked enough like him to be his twin (though on even ground he was a little bit taller than Poppet.)
We stayed there about ten minutes, then Meseret and the worker at the school sent the boys off to fetch their mother. We couldn't go with the car and they didn't want us walking over the rough ground, so called her to come meet us at one of the orphanage buildings.
While they were off, we drove to another building where we were able to see some of the older children (not sure why they weren't in school, or whether they went to the afternoon session, or what...) These were mostly older children, the youngest being maybe two or three; the oldest likely ten or eleven (or more). They showed us the bare-bones rooms where they slept - apparently, prior to the adoption agency's involvement, they slep on the floor; now they had bunkbeds to sleep in.
Another fifteen or twenty minutes later we were called to go across the road to another building. Here a woman of indeterminate age was waiting for us - Poppet's birthmother. We talked for about half an hour, with Meseret acting as translator. I asked her some questions then told her I promised to love Poppet and care for him well, making sure he received a good education and plenty of opportunities. I gave her some pictures of Poppet with me and Giggles so she could remember him and his new mother. I also gave her my e-mail address, though seeing as she is illiterate and very poor, it's unlikely she will be able to use it to contact me. It was emotional but rewarding to meet her.
Then, seeing as the other family was still busy with Solomon and their birthfamily, Meseret invited us to have lunch at her house. She lives in Adama and "commutes" on a weekly basis to Addis to work at the Transition House. She, too, had a very nice house with nice furniture and a maid who cooked for the family. Her husband is a lawyer and they have two adopted children.
She gave us some papayas from the tree in her garden, which we will enjoy. And then it was back into the van for the drive home. That excursion took the better part of the day; by the time we got home it was late and we were tired. A quick supper, some TV and bed.
(Continue to 11-15 January: The last few days)
The last few days
For our last five days in Addis, we mostly stayed close to home - taking walks, playing in the garden, going out for ice cream, doing schoolwork, and just generally enjoying the sun and warmth. We picked up Poppet's transit visa from the Dutch Embassy - only to find they had given him an airport transit visa after all, not a regular transit visa. So that scuttles any plans of heading into town for the day. It will be a long nine hours in the airport...
Sunday 13 January
Today we went out for a walk about the neighbourhood , a bit further afield than before. We walked up Bole Road, turned left on one of the (major) side-streets, stopped for an ice cream cone (not at our usual haunt), and leisurely walked back.
We passed a bridge that we'd hardly noticed before, where Bole Road crosses some mostly dried up river. The gorge was fairly deep and very rocky, and heaps of garbage were scattered along the slopes. In fact, as we were looking down into the gulley, a man walked past and heaved a sheep's head - or some such piece of carcass - over the edge. Giggles was not impressed. (Neither were the rest of us.)
Tuesday 15 January
Departure day! We leave late tonight - our flight takes off at about 11:00 pm, and we need to be at the airport by about 8:00.
This afternoon we went back to the Hilton pool for another swim. Unfortunately, all the pools had been drained for maintenance. The grown-up pool was being refilled, and was not yet so deep as to be beyond the kids' depth, so we stayed and played there for an hour or two. It wasn't as hot (so not as nice!!) as the kids' pool, but we still enjoyed it.
While we were there some dark clouds formed in the sky, there was distant thunder, and it actually rained for about five minutes - the only rain we've had since the middle of December!!!
We had arranged to meet K&M (from out west) with little K at the complex. They weren't there initially, so I wondered if they'd forgotten or not been able to make it out with little K, but after a while they appeared and we sat together for ice cream and some chatting.
Sunday 13 January
Today we went out for a walk about the neighbourhood , a bit further afield than before. We walked up Bole Road, turned left on one of the (major) side-streets, stopped for an ice cream cone (not at our usual haunt), and leisurely walked back.
We passed a bridge that we'd hardly noticed before, where Bole Road crosses some mostly dried up river. The gorge was fairly deep and very rocky, and heaps of garbage were scattered along the slopes. In fact, as we were looking down into the gulley, a man walked past and heaved a sheep's head - or some such piece of carcass - over the edge. Giggles was not impressed. (Neither were the rest of us.)
Tuesday 15 January
Departure day! We leave late tonight - our flight takes off at about 11:00 pm, and we need to be at the airport by about 8:00.
This afternoon we went back to the Hilton pool for another swim. Unfortunately, all the pools had been drained for maintenance. The grown-up pool was being refilled, and was not yet so deep as to be beyond the kids' depth, so we stayed and played there for an hour or two. It wasn't as hot (so not as nice!!) as the kids' pool, but we still enjoyed it.
While we were there some dark clouds formed in the sky, there was distant thunder, and it actually rained for about five minutes - the only rain we've had since the middle of December!!!
We had arranged to meet K&M (from out west) with little K at the complex. They weren't there initially, so I wondered if they'd forgotten or not been able to make it out with little K, but after a while they appeared and we sat together for ice cream and some chatting.
And then it was time to head home, finish packing the last few things, have a bite, and head off to the airport to begin the long trek home...
(Continue to 21 January: Home!!!!)
31 December 2008
Button's Family Day!!!
December 31, 2007, was the day Button joined our family. It has been a year filled with learning, laughter, and love. From not wanting to spend much time with me he has turned into a little boy who loves his Mommy very much, likes to hug and snuggle me, and wants Mommy to be around as much as possible.
We celebrated on Monday night (the last night Laolao and Laoye were with us) but going out for Chinese food.
Yep, Chinese. We’ve had Ethiopian a few times recently and Laoye didn’t want to eat injera again (tsk, tsk, Laoye!). But it’s been some time since we’ve gone out for Chinese, and Button likes it, too, so that’s where we went. We discovered that our favourite Chinese restaurant is closed on Mondays (I think we’ve discovered that before, but it doesn’t seem to stick!) so we went across the street to a Vietnamese fusion restaurant and very much enjoyed it. Then drove downtown, parked, and walked around to see the Christmas lights.
Here is a bit of a look back. I started writing the following lists in January 2008. I had originally meant it to be a post on the first two weeks. Then three. Then four. Then one month back in Canada (Feb 16, 2008). Then two months. Then three… Well, here it is, one year later… Two kids keep you busy!
A little bit of the “Me-me” game, for the three of us.
Button (since he’s the newest)
Mustang
Mama
Button then:
... and now...
We celebrated on Monday night (the last night Laolao and Laoye were with us) but going out for Chinese food.
Yep, Chinese. We’ve had Ethiopian a few times recently and Laoye didn’t want to eat injera again (tsk, tsk, Laoye!). But it’s been some time since we’ve gone out for Chinese, and Button likes it, too, so that’s where we went. We discovered that our favourite Chinese restaurant is closed on Mondays (I think we’ve discovered that before, but it doesn’t seem to stick!) so we went across the street to a Vietnamese fusion restaurant and very much enjoyed it. Then drove downtown, parked, and walked around to see the Christmas lights.
Here is a bit of a look back. I started writing the following lists in January 2008. I had originally meant it to be a post on the first two weeks. Then three. Then four. Then one month back in Canada (Feb 16, 2008). Then two months. Then three… Well, here it is, one year later… Two kids keep you busy!
A little bit of the “Me-me” game, for the three of us.
Button (since he’s the newest)
- His favourite colour is yellow. Pink, red, and orange are close seconds.
- He is stubborn.
- He has perseverance - sometimes. When learning to skate (Jan 2008), he didn’t let the falling stop him. He would get up again and again and again and keep doggedly trying. He saw the other boys - some about his own age - skating effortlessly, handling their sticks and shooting the puck, and he wanted to do it to. Our friends gave him a little stick and he would shoot his own puck, shuffle across the ice to it, and shoot it again. He found his balance fairly easily (using his sister’s out-grown pink figure skates) but has yet to figure out the push and glide part. But when we tried him with some friends’ out-grown hockey skates, he didn’t like them – harder to balance on.
- He knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say it. Okay. But when he doesn’t get his own way, he tends to sulk. Or scream. [Dec 2008: The screaming is now rare. The sulking has improved a lot, too.]
- He is very into things with buttons, switches, dials, knobs… He has to press them, turn them, click them… He wants to figure out how things work – and generally can, fairly quickly (as long as the machine being operated is not so complex as to be beyond his cognitive capacity as a four-year-old!). Yesterday in the car, I drew his attention to the windshield wipers and fluid on the back window. His question: “Ma, window wash, which one button? (i.e. which button do you press to clean the window?)
- He is half vegetarian. Or at least not a fan of most kinds of meat. But a great lover of fruit and most vegetables, dry cereals, potatoes, rice and noodles. Oh, and injera. He will call pancakes injera, though they’re not quite the same!
- He has an Ethiopian accent. (For now.) We noticed, when there, that people usually would add an extra vowel between certain consonant groups, and before the plural s after a consonant at the end of a word. So “six” is pronounced “sickis” and “chips” would be “chipis.” He also pronounces “this” and “that” as “zis” and ‘zatSeeing as his first English teaches were fellow Ethiopians, it makes sense, but he’ll have to unlearn that! I took him to McDonalds one day for lunch. He’d already been with Laolao and Laoye, and he asked me for “chiss.” I took this to mean “cheese,” so I asked him “cheeseburger?” and he said yes. Given #6 above, I couldn’t really see him eating a cheeseburger, so I ordered French fries, chicken nuggets, and apple slices, despite his saying “chicken yucky, French fries yucky.” When he saw the fries, he said “yum, chiss!” Oh, you mean “chips!” So we spent a few minutes practicing the word “chips.” I have also had him practice “coat” and “cat” which sounded very similar when he said them. And we’re working on the proper “th” sounds for “this,” “that” and “mouth” (rather than “zis,” “zat” and “mouse”). His latest phrase, picked up from his sister and practiced extensively a few days ago: “What the heck!” [Dec ’08: His speech is, of course, much, much improved. Gone is the extra vowel as in “chipis” and “sickis.” But he still does tend to miss the “th” sometimes, though it’s now usually “dis” and “dat.”]
- He loves cars, trucks, airplanes, and any kind of toy vehicle. And he can really kick a ball!
- He also wants to play with his sister’s My Little Ponies. But she says they’re “mine!” and he is not to touch, so she’s had me put them in inaccessible locations where he can’t get at them. When he got a new big truck on Friday, he had me do the same with it. Hmmm, how can we get over the “mine, mine” syndrome? [Dec ’08: The My Little Ponies came out of hiding a few months ago, and there isn’t too too much of the “mine” – on either side. Thank goodness!]
- He can recite the alphabet and count fairly accurately from 1 to 20. But present him with a letter or number in isolation and he can’t always recognize it. Though he does know M (his letter), T (his sister’s), R (mine), as well as A, B and C, and he’s learned S (for snake). Like many kids, he hasn’t yet figured out the difference between M and W. [Dec ’08: Significant improvement here. He knows all the letters, pretty much, and numbers, too, though generally skips 15 when counting from 1 to 20! He can write most letters, though some are not as neat as others, and can do simple math. His kindergarten teacher says he’ll be ready for Grade 1 for sure. I think he’s generally more academically inclined than Mustang.]
Mustang
- Her favourite colours are purple, blue, and pink. Followed by white and red. Oh, and yellow, green and orange.
- She is stubborn.
- She is creative. She likes drawing, colouring, painting, and most anything artsy. (When reading through the Grade 1 curriculum documents last year, I thought the only subjects she was likely to get an A in were the arts. I was right.) She’s come up with some very interesting Lego creations – yesterday she built a “model” of my office building, complete with tall tower, park benches, flower garden, and pathways. She’s built lots of little Lego animals. On the beach, she’s a paragon of sand-castle building industry.
- She likes to be in control. More than she is capable of being, as a 7-year-old. The end result is often a loss of temper. (Hers, mine, or both.) [Dec ’08: Some progress here, thank goodness.]
- She LOVES horses. She has a half dozen horse stuffies, about 50 or 60 plastic horses of varying sizes, multiple horse books, horse pictures. All that’s lacking is the real thing. A friend did take her for a pony ride once, and she was in seventh heaven. Last year she attended the rodeo in western Canada with Laolao and Laoye, and they were camped right next to the horse pasture. She would go over and feed the horses (grasses she picked) as often as she could. Last summer, Laolao found a set of matched mother and baby horses at Value Village. She had to read one book to earn a mother and baby. She tore through the books like nobody’s business, she wanted those little horses so bad! She now keeps them in a little music box decorated with horses, given to her by an observant friend for her 7th birthday. [Dec ’08: In spring she started Horsemanship lessons and did a second round in fall. This involves learning about tack, grooming the horses, and learning to saddle and bridle a horse. In Nov-Dec she did a first round of horse riding lessons and very much enjoyed it. We’ll take a break over winter and she’ll start again in spring.]
- She loves animals of all kinds. At the library, in addition to the usual storybooks, she likes to take out books about different kinds of animals and have me read them to her. She knows the names of many different breeds of dogs and their characteristics, different kinds of horses and what they do. She is an expert butterfly catcher, and last summer caught a dragonfly and a praying mantis. She has caught multiple frogs, and found a rabbit nest (with eight very young baby bunnies) in a neighbour’s yard last spring. When she grows up, she wants to be a Wild Girl in western Canada and help look after hurt animals.
- She has an excellent memory for things that interest her. She remembers the details about the animal books we’ve read, places she’s been and things she’s seen.
- She has a keen interest in the natural world. Animals in particular, but also bugs, plants, flowers, and more recently planets, stars and space. I try to feed this interest and keep alive her love of learning.
- She is NOT into academics. The “core subjects” – reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic – are not her forte. Where she does much better is in the “applied” subjects – social studies, science, health, gym, and of course the arts. (I call them “applied” because that’s where the core skills are applied in a way that results in learning things of substance.) Of course, in order to continue to make progress in the “applied” subjects she will need to attain a certain mastery of the core subjects. I just hope that school doesn’t kill her love of learning before she gets there. [Dec ’08: She has made great strides in reading. Still stumbles and requires assistance; still somewhat below expected grade level, but much, much better. She read 26 chapter books over the summer!!! (with Mommy’s assistance and pushing) and has continued with more in the fall. Now we need to work more on math, too.]
- She loves stories. When we’re in the car travelling somewhere or sitting at the dinner table starting dessert, her opening line often is “Mommy, tell me a story.” She then proceeds to tell me which characters should be in it (usually animals), how they should interact, and the main plotline. I am to furnish the details, the drama, and the descriptive language. As the story progresses, she furnishes further plot. But I have to retell what she’s told me to say, preferably adding description and drama - if I simply take what she’s said as part of the story and try to move on, she will often get upset. To date, the most common story theme has been animals meeting, mating, and producing babies. (It is of little import whether this involves two dogs or, say, a cat and an elephant…) I sometimes try to get her to tell me a story but she usually resists. Though I’ve had some success at doing a rotating story (i.e. we take turns adding a sentence). But she can tell a pretty good story herself. On Christmas Eve (2007), we has Christmas story time. I read the Bible account from Mark 2, Laolao read an Ethiopian Christmas story, and Mustang told the Biblical Christmas story in great detail and with expression (and without any prompting), all the way from the angel’s announcement to Mary to the family’s flight to Egypt.
Mama
- My favourite colour is green. Followed by orange and yellow. The more smashing, the better.
- I am stubborn.
- Language and writing are my things. (In case you hadn’t noticed, all you eye-candy-hungry blog readers out there…) I have had several short stories and some poems published in various Canadian literary magazines. But nothing in the last ten years or so. Got too busy at work, and lately with adoptions and parenting. This skill has, however, proven useful in responding to Giggles’ story requests, though my strength is in story-writing not telling. Given her penchant for ordering the story and the single-theme focus, the story-telling results are not stellar literary accomplishments. In three years of story-telling, I have come up with two stories that I have thought could actually be good ones if written down. But I didn’t do so. One (about cats, aliens, and rubber bands) I might be able to recreate, the other (about camels, a crocodile, and an oasis) is so far past it’s mostly lost in the depths of memory. You will note that neither story involves meeting, mating, and producing babies. I think she gave me more free reign with these two…
- I enjoy photography and in my early teens even toyed with the idea of becoming a photographer. (Something you eye-candy-hungry blog readers may find hard to believe!!! But the shortage of photos has more to do with the fact I still use ancient technology that require filling a film and taking it to a store for processing, and the fact that we spent a month in Ethiopia, where they gave me a CD with upside-down photos on it, than anything else.) I have produced a few decent photos in my time, and still enjoy trying to get an artistic shot. Though most of the photography these days is to record the lives, antics and accomplishments of two little munchkins. [Dec ’08: As you have seen recently, the newly acquired digital camera has resulted in a great proliferation of eye-candy. Hope you like some of my attempts at artistic shots, too.]
- I have generally thought I had a great deal of patience with people (if not with things). Life with two munchkins is testing that. I find I have less patience than I thought I did (though still a pretty reasonable amount, I hope) and get angry faster than I thought I did. But the big thing – and it is the BIG thing – is controlling one’s anger, not doing anything rash, and NOT staying angry. At one of the adoption parenting seminars I attended, the mantra the speaker gave us was “Stay connected to your child.” That has stuck in my mind and it is my touchstone. I am still building connections to Button, but Mustang and I are well connected and any occasions where temper arises end quickly and with hugs and kisses. [Dec ’08: I still find it somewhat easier to connect to Mustang, likely because Button tends to shut down when upset, whereas Mustang is a talker. But the Button connections are real and continuing to deepen.]
[The following points were added in Dec ’08, as this is the point where I ran out of steam last winter.] - I love to travel. I wish I didn’t have to work but could take my kids all over the place – Canada, the world! Our western vacation was a testament to that. Next summer will be more local holidays, since I hope to take them to China in 2010.
- I have rheumatoid arthritis. It is in many ways not a huge factor in parenting, though in others it is. I don’t participate in athletics, so my kids take skating and skiing lessons rather than have me teach them. When we go sledding I stand and watch and cheer them on. I don’t even ride bike – I used to, but my knees don’t bend enough (haven’t for the past 25 years) so I count on friends to take the kids for bike rides. Mustang, when we’re out walking on icy streets or on forest paths, is very good at taking care of her Mommy and giving me a hand.
- I have no siblings, so – since they don’t have a dad – my kids don’t have any aunts, uncles, or cousins. I’m trying to give my kids a sense of the larger extended family (seeing as I have about 25 uncles and aunts and close to 40 cousins) but it’s hard for them to really get to know the family since we live so far away and rarely see them. Members of our church have become our extended family.
- I’m very organized and a bit of a neat-freak. Not clean – things can get dirty and it doesn’t bother me – but I like things neat. (Button is fairly tidy and organized by nature, too, though not Mustang, at least not regularly. Her teachers say she keeps her desk tidy and well-organized. Huh? Is that my kid you’re talking about?!!?)
- I love being a mom.
14 December 2008
One year ago today
Joy!!
One year ago today our good friend W loaded the four of us – Laolao, Laoye, Mustang and me – into his van with our eight heavy, fat suitcases and four carry-ons and we headed off through the swirling snow to the distant airport from which our journey to Ethiopia – and to a bright little boy – would begin. Some 22 hours later we landed in Addis Ababa.
Owing to our planned tours, it took another nine days before we met that little boy, and another seven days after that before he joined us. But in the past 11 ½ months, the bright little Button boy has become an integral part of our family. I can, now, hardly imagine life without him.
One year ago today our good friend W loaded the four of us – Laolao, Laoye, Mustang and me – into his van with our eight heavy, fat suitcases and four carry-ons and we headed off through the swirling snow to the distant airport from which our journey to Ethiopia – and to a bright little boy – would begin. Some 22 hours later we landed in Addis Ababa.
Owing to our planned tours, it took another nine days before we met that little boy, and another seven days after that before he joined us. But in the past 11 ½ months, the bright little Button boy has become an integral part of our family. I can, now, hardly imagine life without him.
03 October 2008
Ottawa Ethiopian Adoptive Families
When I started the process to adopt Button, there were only about 4 families in the region (about a 160km circumference) who were adopting from Ethiopia (that I knew of). Since then our group has grown by leaps and bounds; we’re now up to about 25 families! Back then I started organizing some get-togethers for the group. Our first was in April 2007 and consisted of me (with Mustang), Justice (who didn’t bring Wild Thing that first time), and a woman visiting from northern Alberta (who also had a Chinese daughter!).
In mid June we had another get-together and it was quite a different story! Justice was there (with Wild Thing this time!), Zia and her family attended, Mark & Mira with Summer’s photo in hand, Shane and Ashley with Isaiah’s photo in hand, Sandi’s gang, Allison and Mei Le (still waiting for a referral at the time), and Mona (also waiting for a referral at the time). I hope I haven't missed anybody.
I’m so pleased at how the connections are building in our group and we’re forming a little community. I’m also very pleased at the fact that there are several other ChinEthiAdian families being formed. Ours won’t be so different after all. (Well, it will, but certainly not unique, and we’ll have friends whose families look just like ours. Single mom and all.)
In mid June we had another get-together and it was quite a different story! Justice was there (with Wild Thing this time!), Zia and her family attended, Mark & Mira with Summer’s photo in hand, Shane and Ashley with Isaiah’s photo in hand, Sandi’s gang, Allison and Mei Le (still waiting for a referral at the time), and Mona (also waiting for a referral at the time). I hope I haven't missed anybody.
I’m so pleased at how the connections are building in our group and we’re forming a little community. I’m also very pleased at the fact that there are several other ChinEthiAdian families being formed. Ours won’t be so different after all. (Well, it will, but certainly not unique, and we’ll have friends whose families look just like ours. Single mom and all.)
When everyone else had gone, my gang headed across the park to where another celebration of sorts was wrapping up. We got there in time to have faces painted and to snag a bunch of balloons that were being taken down.
07 March 2008
More Ethiopia pix
These pictures are from a second, wide-angle camera for which I just had the film developed a couple of weeks ago (after the other films).
Bole road streetscape.
One of the buildings at the Transition House, with photo of children on the wall. (Poppet is one of the kids in the picture.)
Children at the orphanage in Adama.
Note that there are many older children here.
Bole road streetscape.
Lunch at the home of a Meserete Kristos Church pastor.
A volcanic lake near Debre Zayit.
We had to climb a ways to get to the top of the crater.
Giggles and Poppet at the playground of a restaurant
near the summit of Mount Entoto.
A disabled weaver. Our friend J took us to this workshop, where we purchased several lovely woolen rugs for a very good price. I bought a rug appx 1.5 x 2 metres for just $45.
The inside of an Ethiopian kitchen. This was an "institutional" kitchen, at the Meserete Kristos College, so larger than most, but similarly equipped.
(3 pictures)
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