Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday - A challenging day

Monday, 7 January 2008

We started off the day by having the kids check out their Christmas stockings we'd set out the night before, in honour of Ethiopian Christmas. Not that Ethiopians do stockings, but I'd promised Giggles three Christmases this year (before leaving home, western Christmas, and Ethiopian Christmas). Plus I'd wanted to have some sort of a Christmas celebration with Poppet, not that he knows what it's all about yet. Anyhow, I'd brought along a few little gifts for the kids, and Laolao had picked up a small bubble-blowing kit for each child the day before, as well as a few balloons.

Giggles, of course, knew what was up, and pulled Poppet into the living room to open his bag. Poppet was quite taken with his elephant stuffy and the bubble-maker, and especially the balloon. He also seemed interested in the music CD I'd brought along to give him, perhaps taking it for a computer CD. But one of the best prezzies was a little bag, meant perhaps to be a lunch bag, that Giggles had bought at home to be her Christmas present to him. It is special because it has become his little treasure box, where he puts all his own prized possessions. He very carefully tucked elephant into it, as well as a few other little things he's collected, and stashed it in the closet. (He's since accessed it many times to take things out for playing, but is generally careful to put them back in once he's done.)

Right after breakfast, the kids went out back to see the sheep, now headless, before the slaughter was complete.

Despite it's being Christmas (again), Giggles still had schoolwork to do, so she and I spent the morning slogging while Poppet went out with Laolao and Laoye. They came back to report that many of the stores were open, whereas we'd been told that most things would be closed for the holiday. The small shops were all closed, but the larger stores were open, including the pastry shop where we'd taken care to purchase our cake the day before, to be sure to have one. The maid even showed up, though she left early. We gave her a Christmas present of 50 birr.

Lunch was simple, but topped off with a birthday cake (inscribed "Merry Christmas"!) and a candle, for my birthday. (Not sure what Poppet made of the fact that it was clearly me the Happy Birthday song was sung for, but he and Giggles who got the presents in the morning - whether he even associates presents with birthdays...)

We had a fairly lazy afternoon. The kids played with their bubble-makers, their balloons, and the ball. We took a stroll down the road and stopped for our usual ice cream.

All in all, it was a fairly relaxing day, except that Poppet had some trying times. It actually started last night. The kids had been watching some television before brushing teeth and going to bed. Then, for some reason, Poppet started crying, refusing to go to bed and not wanting me to sit with him. (Bedtime has so far been the one time he's most open to receiving and giving affection with me.) With little language, he couldn't explain what was bothering him and we couldn't figure it out. I ended up calling Laoye in, hoping that might help as he usually responds to Laoye, but it made little difference. We finally got him settled, after at least half an hour. I really have no idea what triggered it, except perhaps that he's starting to get over the novelty of everything and missing his caregivers and friends.

Today, then, he had several periods of sulking and tears. One came when his balloon popped. He had been playing with Laoye on the porch when it popped, and Laoye sat down and pretended to cry. That set him off. (Ooops.) A couple more times during the day, when he didn't get what he wanted, he would go off to cry or sulk. In the afternoon, when we went off for ice cream, at first he didn't want to go, so Laolao and Giggles and I set off, leaving him with Laoye. After a second short crying jag, Laoye got fed up and told him to stop - and he did. At which point they came and joined us at the ice cream shop.


In the meantime, Giggles has been experiencing some jealousy over sharing me. She wants special time with Mommy, time just for her and Mommy. (Of course, the fact that she spends half the day just with Mommy doing schoolwork doesn't seem to factor into her equation!) We'd talked beforehand about the need to share Mommy, but the reality of it is not easy. At least not today.

It's hard knowing how to handle some of this. I want to comfort Poppet, but he resists comfort - from me or from anyone else, when he's sulking. I wish I knew how much was sulking at not getting his own way, and how much of the tears are from loneliness or missing friends. One wants to give him a bit of leeway, as his whole world has been turned upside down, but at the same time one can't give in to every whim or want. Especially with another child in the picture, some sort of "fairness" must be maintained We can explain to Giggles, but she is still a child, too, and her world has also changed, though not as drastically. At times she is generous and willing to share and give him extra things, or let him have what he wants. (At those times I tell her she is being a good big sister.) Other times she just wishes him gone.

It has also been a time for Giggles to reflect on how it was when we went to China to adopt her. She remembers little of that, but she has asked a couple of times "Did I do that?" or "What did you do when...?" and I've been able to relay some of her story back to her and relate it to how Poppet is now behaving. Sometimes it helps her to behave generously and with compassion, but it's easy for her to forget, too.

And so we continue.

(Continue to 8 January: Museum Day 1)

Mustang and Button

I've been meaning to do this for a while - specifically, since we got home from Ethiopia in January - but the post I was going to attach this announcement to has yet to be completed, so I'm just going to go ahead with the announcement on its own.

No, I'm not adopting again! :-)

But I think a re-naming is in order for both Poppet and Giggles. "Poppet" was just a name concocted because I made a puppet-like stick/photo figure of Poppet when I first got his referral photo and took pictures of "him" in various places in our house to send to the real Poppet in Ethio0pia while we waited for him to come home. Now that he's home and we know a bit more about his personality, it's time for a blog-name that reflects a bit of who he is.

So.... introducing BUTTON!

Because he's totally into pressing buttons and turning dials, figuring out how things work and making them go. He's always asking, "Ma, can I button it?" - meaning press the button for whatever the latest gadget is. Yesterday, Giggles brought home a little toy she'd won at school for something. It's a little hand-held electronic game that you have to press buttons and try to catch dots or some such thing. She didn't know how to get it working and wondered if it needed new batteries. Well, while she was off playing, Button comes along, turns it over, flicks a switch, starts pressing buttons, and voila, it's working. He's very observant about how things work and wants to figure it out.

Obviously, that leaves Mustang as Giggles' new moniker. Why Mustang? Well, as those of you who know her are aware, she LOVES horses. Totally adores them. She's currently taking horsemanship lessons and will start riding in fall/winter, once she knows enough to tack up her own horse and groom it. So of all the horses, why a Mustang? Because the Mustang's characteristics are a good reflection of Giggles's nature: spirited, stubborn, determined, obstinate, active, on the wild side, energetic, a free spirit.

After visiting Alberta last summer, Mustang said she wanted to live in Alberta when she grows up and be a wild girl. (Yesterday she said she wanted to be a veterinarian and a mountaineer. When she scraped her knee badly while playing street hockey with her brother and little neighbour yesterday, she sat for a long while telling me she was trying hard not to cry because if she wanted to be a mountain-climber, she would have to get used to getting scrapes and bumps!!)

Giggles the conqueror!

Yesterday, Sunday 13 April, Giggles rode her bicycle all by herself for the very first time!!!!!

Our friend M was here for lunch, and after lunch we took the kids out on their bikes. Poppet has training wheels on his, so he's going strong without assistance. but Giggles' bike has a bar sticking up behind for someone to hold onto while she rides. I've been using it since she turned 6 and started attempting the two-wheeler. The first summer she wasn't ready, but last summer she almost had it and I thought she could do it if she really wanted - but I guess she still wasn't quite ready.

So yesterday, after biking around the neighbourhood and around the circle in the park for about 45 minutes, we came back to our back alley and Giggles said she wanted to try it all by herself. So I removed the bar from behind the bike (for better balance without assistance), M helped her to get started, then let go - and she was off! She went about 10m the first time, then kept trying over and over to start by herself too - and she did. M and I gave her a few tips to help her get going more easily on her own, and she rode up and down the alley (appx 50m) several times, even starting unassisted. After a few minutes I raised the seat on her bike to give her better push power - she could still reach the ground while seated - and that helped.

This was even with very flat tires on both wheels. So I took both bikes in for a tune-up today (I think a new tire might be required on Giggles' back wheel) and once the tires are firm it will be even easier for her to ride.

Pictures will have to wait for the film to be developed.

You go girl!!!!!

Has it really been more than a month?

... since my last post? Doesn't seem possible. I've been meaning to, but other things have taken priority, I guess.

What's happened since March 9th:

• March break - I planned a special activity every day. To the farm, to the Nature museum, an outing skiing with both kids (and a teenage friend to accompany Giggles on the slopes), a trip to the ceramics painting place, and one quiet day at home cooking and doing crafts (that was Monday). March break activity photos to come soon!


• Giggles' third Family Day. Her adoption anniversary usually falls during March break; this year it was the Friday, so after our day's special activities, we all went out for supper at her favourite Chinese restaurant. Her favourite dish there? Congee!!!!! I always order one (big!) bowl for eating there and one for taking home.


• Easter - we dyed eggs three times. The Saturday at the beginning of March break, the Sunday after (Palm Sunday) and once with friends at their house, on Easter Saturday. Giggles is a master egg dyer - I think she needs a dozen eggs to do all on her own! Poppet did good work too. With our friends we used the Ukrainian egg dying technique (though not quite so fancy!) but Poppet didn't use the kiska much, he's still a bit young and not good enough fine motor control. Giggles is getting better at it. Our favourite technique though is to put rubber bands on the eggs (the big ones that come on broccoli are the best) and then dying the eggs. It gives nice, solid patterns. Did you know that this year was almost the earliest Easter will ever come? It's the earliest any of us will ever experience Easter - the next time it will fall on 23 March is some hundreds of years in the future. It can also fall on 22 March but that also won't happen for longer than any of us will live.


• Shaved Poppet's head! His hair had been growing since we got him and was getting a bit long and shaggy. Well, not really shaggy, but longish. With very tight curls. So Laoye got out his shaving kit and went to work. I tried it too, so I can do it myself later. It ended up very unevern and weird-looking. But the next day Laolao got out her scissors and fixed it up so it didn't look too bad. I think I need practice!
  
• Laolao and Laoye head home. They flew back out west on Easter Sunday evening, leaving me on my own with my expanded family. Okay, now comes the real test! So far it's been okay. My friend L is now taking Poppet once aabout every other week for a few hours so I have some more time to accomplish stuff around the home (and to start planning for summer holiday) and also to give me a bit of one-on-one time with Giggles, which she dearly loves and needs. Since Laolao and Laoye left I've had a bit more of the "I hate Poppet! Can't we get rid of him? I wish it were just us again!" When they were here Laolao did take Poppet and do stuff with him from time to time, even just in another room, so I could have some snuggles and story-time with just Giggles, for example. So I think she's missing that a lot. Everyone says it takes a good year for families and siblings to adjust to a new addition, so I expcet it will settle down in time.


• We celebrated Poppet's three month-iversary as part of the family on 31 March. Went to one of the local Ethiopian restaurants with some friends, another soon(?)-to-be Chinese-Ethiopian adoptive family. Justice's daughter is very close to Giggles' age. Her (one or two?) Ethiopian kids are still just a twinkle in the eye, but they will come in due course!


• Met P and F, another single mom and her Ethiopian daughter (who arrived home last November). They live a good distance outside Ottawa, but had to come in for an appointment at the International Adoption clinic, so had supper with us since we live just a skip and a hop from the hospital.

• Got rid of (most of) the snow!!!!!!! There was a huge storm here in early March - actually two in one week - that dumped tons of snow on us. The rest of March was below average temps, and it seemed the snow would never leave. But it's now almost gone - still a few big hills, but they're hills instead of mountains, and in isolated clumps rather than whole ranges. Last Wednesday it actually hit 17 degrees - I was out in my shirtsleeves! Hauled out the bikes and Poppet spent the day riding up and down the alley (with training wheels). Have been throwing a bunch of the snow from the piles onto the street to promot thawing, and by now our front garden is almost bare, and at least half the grass is showing in the back. HURRAY!!!! This weekend is cool again, but they're promising nice weather again on Wednesday. Hope it doesn't change.

Giggles the great... skier, that is!

On the provincial Family Day (Feb 18) I took Giggles for a "Mommy Day" while Poppet stayed home with Laolao and Laoye. The activity of choice was ... skiing! I am NOT a skier, but I paid for an hour of private lessons. Then she was to practice on the bunny hill - but that wasn't exciting enough for speed demon Giggles, especially as she had to walk up to the top of the hill, so I paid for a second hour of lessons so she could go up the big hill with adult accompaniment (and get a few more skiing tips to boot).

Both of the instructors who worked with her said she was "a natural" and "very talented." In fact, the second instructor said in her many years of teaching, this was only the second time she'd had such a good student for a first-time skier.

They start the kids off snow-ploughing to keep from going too fast while they learn to keep their balance, but by the end of the second hour, Giggles was already doing a few turns with parallel skis, which means faster speed and harder to balance while turning. She said she fell down only a few times.

(Anybody out there interested in accompanying a 7-year-old on the hill for a day or two sometime?!?)

I think regular skiing lessons will be on the books for next winter.

More Ethiopia pix

These pictures are from a second, wide-angle camera for which I just had the film developed a couple of weeks ago (after the other films).

One of the buildings at the Transition House, with photo of children on the wall. (Poppet is one of the kids in the picture.)

Children at the orphanage in Adama.

Note that there are many older children here.

Bole road streetscape.

Lunch at the home of a Meserete Kristos Church pastor.

A volcanic lake near Debre Zayit.
We had to climb a ways to get to the top of the crater.

Giggles and Poppet at the playground of a restaurant
near the summit of Mount Entoto.

A disabled weaver. Our friend J took us to this workshop, where we purchased several lovely woolen rugs for a very good price. I bought a rug appx 1.5 x 2 metres for just $45.

The inside of an Ethiopian kitchen. This was an "institutional" kitchen, at the Meserete Kristos College, so larger than most, but similarly equipped.
(3 pictures)

Even more pictures...

Here are a few pix from Poppet's first time on skates.

Oh yeah, Giggles and I, and friend Chuckles, are also included in some pictures, along with a few other friends. (Poppet's in blue, Giggles in purple.)

Pictures, pictures, pictures

Okay, all you eye-candy addicts, here are FINALLY some pictures. Just a few mind you, from our last week in Addis, but pictures they are. Some day when I have more free time (in the nest 20 years) , I will put attach pictures to the travel blog text and get it all organized properly. Ha ha.

Poppet and Giggles at the ice cream shop.

Giggles and Poppet with Laoye.

The Christmas sheep.

Poppet, Poppet's birthmother, and me.

Views of Addis - from the street by our house; a busy road; some poor houses (3 pix).

The School for the Deaf down the road from our house in Addis.

The countryside around Debre Zayit, an hour's drive SE of Addis. (2 pix)

Selam Children's Village, an NGO assising children and families in one of Addis's very poor neighbourhoods.

Potters at work, and their unglazed wares. (3 pix)

A weaving workshop, and a weaver at work. (2 pix)

K & M with little K, at the Hilton poolside on 15 January.

My Ethiopian children. (2 pix)

Hallowe'en pictures

Okay, so Hallowe'en was six weeks ago. But I just got my film processed, as the first time I took pictures since Halowe'en was at our Christmas celebration last Sunday. So rather than add them to an old post (since I never did a Halowe'en post) I'll put them here. These show Giggles as a lion with her fancy dancy jack-o-lanters, on our front porch.