Last night I told my daughter's music teacher that she would miss three weeks of music lessons before/after Christmas, because we were going to Ethiopia to adopt her younger brother. She said "Wow, that's great!" then, looking from Chinese-featured Giggles to European-featured me, asked "Are you from Ethiopia?"
My response: "No, she's not!" (Question seemed to be more addressed to Giggles than to me.)
To which teacher replied, somewhat sheepishly, "Of course not!" and proceeded to tell us she'd lived in Kenya for a while. So of course she knows Ethiopians are dark-skinned!
Though there ARE Asians and whites in Kenya. But most Kenyan "Asians" are of East Indian origin (and most people of East Indian origin in Africa live in Commonwealth countries, of which Ethiopia is not one...).
So perhaps not quite as silly a question as it seemed at first blush. But still... not an obvious question, either!
27 November 2007
23 November 2007
Flights!
Well, I took the plunge and booked flights to Addis. Seeing as it's over Christmas, and we don't know exactly when the visa will be ready, we're leaving early and staying for a month. We'd wanted to do some travel anyhow; now we'll have to!
We depart on Friday, 14 December, and get back into Canada on Wednesday, 16 January, flying KLM. Those dates had a combination of the best itinerary and best price available within a given timeframe. Last night when I checked, and briefly again this morning, I saw prices on the airline's website for outbound travel on Christmas Eve / Christmas Day and returning on the 15/16 January for $1600 less than we're paying. But when I was finally ready to make a decision and book the tickets, those prices had disappeared and all that was left was in business class (at a price of some $5000+ per ticket!!!). We could have left 3-4 days later and paid about the same, or even slightly less, but the itineraries were wretched (travelling for 2 full days to get there, with multiple stops along the way) so the 14th it is.
That's only 3 weeks away! Yikes!
I doubt we'll be able to shorten our trip, even if Poppet's visa does get issued before Christmas. While our tickets are changeable (with a fee), we'd also have to pay the difference in fare and I doubt we'd be able to find any seats at fares that were affordable for average joes like us. If, on the other hand, we have to exstend the trip, the farther we get into January the lower the fares get, so we might not have to pay much extra to change.
Giggles will miss about 3 weeks of school (more if we have to extend the trip) but as one of those weeks is right before Christmas, that's not serious (I mean, how many kids can actually pay attention the last week before Christmas?!?). We'll keep working on reading and math while we're over there. And the trip is a valuable experience in and of itself.
Okay, better head off and prepare my packing list...!
We depart on Friday, 14 December, and get back into Canada on Wednesday, 16 January, flying KLM. Those dates had a combination of the best itinerary and best price available within a given timeframe. Last night when I checked, and briefly again this morning, I saw prices on the airline's website for outbound travel on Christmas Eve / Christmas Day and returning on the 15/16 January for $1600 less than we're paying. But when I was finally ready to make a decision and book the tickets, those prices had disappeared and all that was left was in business class (at a price of some $5000+ per ticket!!!). We could have left 3-4 days later and paid about the same, or even slightly less, but the itineraries were wretched (travelling for 2 full days to get there, with multiple stops along the way) so the 14th it is.
That's only 3 weeks away! Yikes!
I doubt we'll be able to shorten our trip, even if Poppet's visa does get issued before Christmas. While our tickets are changeable (with a fee), we'd also have to pay the difference in fare and I doubt we'd be able to find any seats at fares that were affordable for average joes like us. If, on the other hand, we have to exstend the trip, the farther we get into January the lower the fares get, so we might not have to pay much extra to change.
Giggles will miss about 3 weeks of school (more if we have to extend the trip) but as one of those weeks is right before Christmas, that's not serious (I mean, how many kids can actually pay attention the last week before Christmas?!?). We'll keep working on reading and math while we're over there. And the trip is a valuable experience in and of itself.
Okay, better head off and prepare my packing list...!
20 November 2007
Poppet in Addis Ababa
One of my e-friends who just went to Ethiopia to bring home her daughter carried a package to Poppet from me. She was allowed to take some pictures and sent them to me after she got back a few days ago.
Some of these pictures provide a bit more of a context - the schoolroom, the toddler house, the boys' bedroom... It helps me to visualize the life that Poppet is leading right now, with his friends and caregivers. Yes, he does have a life of his own, which is about to change irrevocably. I know that it will be a big change, but seeing his happy smile and how he is surrounded by friends helps to bring that reality closer...
We adoptive parents tend to think and talk about our children "waiting for us" on the other side of the world. In a sense that is true, especially among the older children who are aware that they have a new family who will be coming to take them far, far away... I wonder, sometimes, how much that "waiting" is tinged with anxiety and perhaps even dread, as opposed to the eagerness we parents feel. I'm sure there is an element of eagerness, of yearing to have a mother (and father) of one's own, to be part of a family... But even so, it is a big, big thing to ask of a child, to leave everything familiar - friends who are the only family he knows, the ever-so-comforting sights, sounds, smells, the very texture of one's life - to leave all that behind and forge into the unknown, bravely, or at least with the appearance of bravery...
And above all, we don't even ask them, these children of ours. They are small, powerless, without a voice. Birthparents make decisions for them that will change the course of their lives; adoptive parents on the other side of the world make decisions that will carry them far, far away from their origins, agencies, caregivers, governments, international bodies all make decisions that will tear them away from the fabric of their known existence and patch them onto a new cloth with an unfamiliar weave... And they have no say in the matter.
Yet they thrive. With hiccups, bumps, and scratches along the way, and sometimes not without a struggle. The melding of former fabric into the new cloth may not be invisible: there may be some loose ends, oddities of texture, a few stray threads... But still, they are whole.
Would we accept a similar fate with as much grace?
They are so resilient, these children of ours.
(If anyone can identify some of the other children in these photos, I'd appreciate knowing who they are.)
Some of these pictures provide a bit more of a context - the schoolroom, the toddler house, the boys' bedroom... It helps me to visualize the life that Poppet is leading right now, with his friends and caregivers. Yes, he does have a life of his own, which is about to change irrevocably. I know that it will be a big change, but seeing his happy smile and how he is surrounded by friends helps to bring that reality closer...
We adoptive parents tend to think and talk about our children "waiting for us" on the other side of the world. In a sense that is true, especially among the older children who are aware that they have a new family who will be coming to take them far, far away... I wonder, sometimes, how much that "waiting" is tinged with anxiety and perhaps even dread, as opposed to the eagerness we parents feel. I'm sure there is an element of eagerness, of yearing to have a mother (and father) of one's own, to be part of a family... But even so, it is a big, big thing to ask of a child, to leave everything familiar - friends who are the only family he knows, the ever-so-comforting sights, sounds, smells, the very texture of one's life - to leave all that behind and forge into the unknown, bravely, or at least with the appearance of bravery...
And above all, we don't even ask them, these children of ours. They are small, powerless, without a voice. Birthparents make decisions for them that will change the course of their lives; adoptive parents on the other side of the world make decisions that will carry them far, far away from their origins, agencies, caregivers, governments, international bodies all make decisions that will tear them away from the fabric of their known existence and patch them onto a new cloth with an unfamiliar weave... And they have no say in the matter.
Yet they thrive. With hiccups, bumps, and scratches along the way, and sometimes not without a struggle. The melding of former fabric into the new cloth may not be invisible: there may be some loose ends, oddities of texture, a few stray threads... But still, they are whole.
Would we accept a similar fate with as much grace?
They are so resilient, these children of ours.
My beautiful boy:
Poppet being shown the gift package sent by his new mama,
with a friend looking on:
Poppet and friends:
Poppet (right) in classroom:
(If anyone can identify some of the other children in these photos, I'd appreciate knowing who they are.)
Playful Platypus
O faithful readers, welcome to the Playful Platypus, my new blog!
Why the platypus? For roughly the past year and a half, my daughter has informed me that the platypus is my favourite animal. This was news to me. It used to be the aardvark. But the platypus is sufficiently bizarre to satisfy the qualities I seek in a favourite animal.
Platypus: An egg-laying, rubber-snouted, beaver-tailed, reptilian-gaited, electrosensory, nocturno-crepuscular, carnivorous, burrow-dwelling, venomous mammal believed by its early foreign discoverers to be an elaborate fraud, resistant to captive breeding and protected throughout its range.
(Aardvark: A four-front-toed, long-eared, tube-mouthed, skinny-tongued, tough-skinned, sharp-clawed, fearless mammal native to Africa, initially thought to resemble pigs, with constantly growing teeth.)
Why the need for a new identity? When I first established this blog, it grew out of the desire to track the journey of life with Giggles, with all its quirks and qualms, as well as to trace the path that would bring us to Poppet (and he to us). Seeing as “onourway” (the name of my former blog) was already in use in the world of blogs, I needed to provide some additional specifications. In the rush of establishing an identifier in the five minutes I had given myself to get the job done, I chose to specify whose way we were on: “r and t.” However, now “m” has joined us (in spirit, if not yet in body), thus the initial naming convention no longer fit. Not to mention that I never really liked “On Our Way” – too boring, too plain, too dull.
So over the past few months I pondered what new identity to assume, and decided to throw our lot in with the platypuses. Seeing as life in this household is full of fun, a playful platypus seemed fitting. (Actually, my first choice was Purple Platypus, but that moniker, alas, had been appropriated. I spent several hours searching the dictionary for another relevant “p” word. After considering many more exotic possibilities, I decided that “playful” captured most fully the style and identity I wished to establish.)
All historical entries from the old blog have already been reposted here (appearing under “October 2007”). As you can see, this blog has a new “look and feel” with the addition of several new page elements – a list of subject labels, clocks for important locations, links to blogs and websites of interest, and a web counter.
So I welcome you to the Playful Platypus: An exploration and examination of life as an out-of-the-ordinary, road-less-travelled, global family of three with roots in China, Ethiopia, Oromiya, Holland, Poland and Ukraine.
Why the platypus? For roughly the past year and a half, my daughter has informed me that the platypus is my favourite animal. This was news to me. It used to be the aardvark. But the platypus is sufficiently bizarre to satisfy the qualities I seek in a favourite animal.
Platypus: An egg-laying, rubber-snouted, beaver-tailed, reptilian-gaited, electrosensory, nocturno-crepuscular, carnivorous, burrow-dwelling, venomous mammal believed by its early foreign discoverers to be an elaborate fraud, resistant to captive breeding and protected throughout its range.
(Aardvark: A four-front-toed, long-eared, tube-mouthed, skinny-tongued, tough-skinned, sharp-clawed, fearless mammal native to Africa, initially thought to resemble pigs, with constantly growing teeth.)
Why the need for a new identity? When I first established this blog, it grew out of the desire to track the journey of life with Giggles, with all its quirks and qualms, as well as to trace the path that would bring us to Poppet (and he to us). Seeing as “onourway” (the name of my former blog) was already in use in the world of blogs, I needed to provide some additional specifications. In the rush of establishing an identifier in the five minutes I had given myself to get the job done, I chose to specify whose way we were on: “r and t.” However, now “m” has joined us (in spirit, if not yet in body), thus the initial naming convention no longer fit. Not to mention that I never really liked “On Our Way” – too boring, too plain, too dull.
So over the past few months I pondered what new identity to assume, and decided to throw our lot in with the platypuses. Seeing as life in this household is full of fun, a playful platypus seemed fitting. (Actually, my first choice was Purple Platypus, but that moniker, alas, had been appropriated. I spent several hours searching the dictionary for another relevant “p” word. After considering many more exotic possibilities, I decided that “playful” captured most fully the style and identity I wished to establish.)
All historical entries from the old blog have already been reposted here (appearing under “October 2007”). As you can see, this blog has a new “look and feel” with the addition of several new page elements – a list of subject labels, clocks for important locations, links to blogs and websites of interest, and a web counter.
So I welcome you to the Playful Platypus: An exploration and examination of life as an out-of-the-ordinary, road-less-travelled, global family of three with roots in China, Ethiopia, Oromiya, Holland, Poland and Ukraine.
Strength of character
... is taking the initiative to say "I'm sorry."
I am proud of Giggles for that.
I am proud of Giggles for that.
19 November 2007
Medical !!!!!
Well, the good news FINALLY came… Poppet’s medical form was FINALLY in the diplomatic pouch this Monday (the pouch didn’t arrive last Friday, so we had to wait out the weekend to hear the verdict). Early last week I received the news that the reason it was taking so long was that the High Commission had sent the medical form (as well as one other family’s) to “the address in Canada” (no idea which one) rather than to the Canadian Embassy in Addis Ababa. (That makes at least 3 out of 12 families’ files that they’ve managed to screw up…) They promised to rectify the situation and send it to Addis in the next diplomatic pouch. Given that I’ve had so many disappointed Fridays/Mondays in the past few months I was almost afraid to hope, but they came through and here it is!!! The orphanage staff will take Poppet for his medical tomorrow or Wednesday and send the completed medical form back to Nairobi in this coming Friday’s pouch, and then the countdown is really on…
Of course, I don’t know exactly when we’re counting down to, seeing as there’s no way to predict if the visa will arrive in three, four, five, or six weeks or even longer. I am soooo hoping the High Commission will get their act together and issue it within four weeks of the completed medical being returned, which would be just before Christmas. If they don’t, then I expect Christmas week to be a write-off, and maybe also the following week (New Year’s)… so it could be mid-January before that final piece of paper arrives… (I don’t think the Ethiopian Christmas celebrations will have an impact, as we’re dealing with Kenya and the Canadian High Commission, which follow the western calendar.) But I’ll start investigating travel possibilities.
Stay tuned!
Of course, I don’t know exactly when we’re counting down to, seeing as there’s no way to predict if the visa will arrive in three, four, five, or six weeks or even longer. I am soooo hoping the High Commission will get their act together and issue it within four weeks of the completed medical being returned, which would be just before Christmas. If they don’t, then I expect Christmas week to be a write-off, and maybe also the following week (New Year’s)… so it could be mid-January before that final piece of paper arrives… (I don’t think the Ethiopian Christmas celebrations will have an impact, as we’re dealing with Kenya and the Canadian High Commission, which follow the western calendar.) But I’ll start investigating travel possibilities.
Stay tuned!
Night out in East Africa
Last Wednesday, 14 Nov, I had the chance to meet in the flesh one of the Ethiopian adoptive families I’ve befriended over the internet. The family in question is moving to this city and was in town on a house-hunting expedition. We were joined by another local family with a Chinese daughter just a few months younger than Giggles. The two girls have met once before and get along quite well.
We headed out to one of the local Ethiopian-Eritrean restaurants. It is one Giggles and I have visited in the past, and has very nice décor and great food. Their injera is very light and thin, and the wats are tasty. They have enough non-spicy food options to satisfy the less adventurous Canadian palates in the crowd, as well as some hot and fiery doro wat.
It was a lovely, relaxing evening among good company on a wet and windy November in this northern burg. Family #1 has had their court date and is waiting for the file to go to immigration processing. Family #2 is just beginning the homestudy, so has a ways to go yet. It’s good to meet up with friends.
We headed out to one of the local Ethiopian-Eritrean restaurants. It is one Giggles and I have visited in the past, and has very nice décor and great food. Their injera is very light and thin, and the wats are tasty. They have enough non-spicy food options to satisfy the less adventurous Canadian palates in the crowd, as well as some hot and fiery doro wat.
It was a lovely, relaxing evening among good company on a wet and windy November in this northern burg. Family #1 has had their court date and is waiting for the file to go to immigration processing. Family #2 is just beginning the homestudy, so has a ways to go yet. It’s good to meet up with friends.
14 November 2007
Adoptive families take a stance on Bill C-14
In June 2007, Bill C-14 An Act to Amend the Citizenship Act (Adoption) was passed by both Houses of Parliament and received Royal Assent. This Bill did away with the need for internationally adopted children to apply for permanent resident status to come to Canada and instead spelled out that they could receive Canadian citizenship if certain conditions (relating to the best interests of the child, the fulfilment of legal requirements, and it being a bona fide adoption) were met.
For the past four and a half months, the adoption world has been anxiously awaiting the publication of the regulations spelling out how the new procedures would work. A draft of these new regulations was finally made public in the Canada Gazette of November 3, 2007, and interested parties invited to comment on them.
Families who are adopting from Ethiopia have taken the initiative to prepare a response to the regulations. While we are supportive of the Bill, and while the procedure and supporting documentation required for this new process appear relatively straightforward, we nevertheless have concerns relating to how long it takes to bring our children home.
The introduction to the proposed new regulations states that "It is anticipated that the applications for citizenship will be completed in a similar time frame as the immigration permanent resident applications" and again "As this is a new service line for citizenship, service standards are currently under development."
These statements are of little comfort, given that the “service standard” for permanent resident visa applications is for a decision to be made within six months. Adoptions from some countries (notably China) benefit from very efficient processing that enables a permanent resident visa to be issued within four working DAYS. If citizenship applications for adopted children receive similar treatment, nobody adopting from China will be upset.
However, adoptions from most other countries do not benefit from such efficient treatment for permanent resident visa processing. PR visas for adopted children are supposed to be expedited, but the meaning of “expedited” varies from country to country. For adoptions from Ethiopia, it is currently taking up to four MONTHS (and counting) from the time the visa application is received at the Canadian Consulate until the visa is issued. (Note: that is based on the stats for me and two other families, whose applications were received at the consulate 11 weeks ago and whose children’s medical forms have not yet been sent to Addis. Once they reach Addis, it will take another seven weeks for the visa to be issued, based on current processing timelines.) If citizenship applications for adopted children receive similar treatment, nobody adopting from Ethiopia will be happy.
We believe that it is in the best interests of our children to bring them home as quickly as possible so as to minimize the time they spend in an institutional setting. (Even a very good institution is still an institution.) It is in the Canadian government's power to do so; they merely need to establish a specific service standard for processing the new citizenship applications and then stick to that standard.
For the past four and a half months, the adoption world has been anxiously awaiting the publication of the regulations spelling out how the new procedures would work. A draft of these new regulations was finally made public in the Canada Gazette of November 3, 2007, and interested parties invited to comment on them.
Families who are adopting from Ethiopia have taken the initiative to prepare a response to the regulations. While we are supportive of the Bill, and while the procedure and supporting documentation required for this new process appear relatively straightforward, we nevertheless have concerns relating to how long it takes to bring our children home.
The introduction to the proposed new regulations states that "It is anticipated that the applications for citizenship will be completed in a similar time frame as the immigration permanent resident applications" and again "As this is a new service line for citizenship, service standards are currently under development."
These statements are of little comfort, given that the “service standard” for permanent resident visa applications is for a decision to be made within six months. Adoptions from some countries (notably China) benefit from very efficient processing that enables a permanent resident visa to be issued within four working DAYS. If citizenship applications for adopted children receive similar treatment, nobody adopting from China will be upset.
However, adoptions from most other countries do not benefit from such efficient treatment for permanent resident visa processing. PR visas for adopted children are supposed to be expedited, but the meaning of “expedited” varies from country to country. For adoptions from Ethiopia, it is currently taking up to four MONTHS (and counting) from the time the visa application is received at the Canadian Consulate until the visa is issued. (Note: that is based on the stats for me and two other families, whose applications were received at the consulate 11 weeks ago and whose children’s medical forms have not yet been sent to Addis. Once they reach Addis, it will take another seven weeks for the visa to be issued, based on current processing timelines.) If citizenship applications for adopted children receive similar treatment, nobody adopting from Ethiopia will be happy.
We believe that it is in the best interests of our children to bring them home as quickly as possible so as to minimize the time they spend in an institutional setting. (Even a very good institution is still an institution.) It is in the Canadian government's power to do so; they merely need to establish a specific service standard for processing the new citizenship applications and then stick to that standard.
(We also believe that the variable treatment in different countries for processing permanent resident visa applications for adopted children is not fair or equitable, and that CIC should establish consistent standards that will result in equitable treatment no matter what country a child is adopted from.)
Therefore, we prepared a position letter outlining our concerns and the rationale behind them, and invited adoptive families to send letters of support for the position.(19 Nov: I've removed the position and support letters from this blog. If you'd be interested in seeing one, feel free to e-mail me and ask for a copy.)
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